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Archive for April, 2006

Fuck Google, use BLACKFIND

Technology dropped by Big Eddie Ed on April 27th, 2006.

After bringing all this technology up to the forefront of the movement, its only natural that a nigga gotta get paid. We all conglomerated and decided that Google Adsense would keep us papered for days. However, Google got a motherfucking agenda. Check this motherfucking email I got last night when I was sleep:

Hello Edward Williams,

Thank you for your interest in Google AdSense. After reviewing your application, our specialists have found that it does not meet our program criteria. Therefore, we are unable to accept you into our program.

We have certain policies in place that we believe will help ensure the effectiveness of Google ads for our publishers as well as for our advertisers. We review all publishers, and we reserve the right to decline any application. As we grow, we may find that we are able to expand our program to more web publishers with a wider variety of web content.

Please note that we may not be able to respond to inquiries regarding the specific reasons for our decision. Thank you for your understanding.

Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team

Notice I put some parts of this email on blast by dunking on the bold key. I’m gonna break down the hidden meaning behind they sneaky white legalese.

What they tapped out:

After reviewing your application, our specialists have found that it does not meet our program criteria.


What they sneaky asses meant:

Google ain’t got no love or motherfucking money for no tech savvy ass blog writing niggas.

Sneaky White Bullshit:

We have certain policies in place…


What it actually mean:

We can’t outlaw your right to vote, but we can keep you motherfuckers from earning cheese on this motherfucking blog game.

Shit stain legalese:

…we reserve the right to decline any application


Hidden agenda:

…we got special rules about your online field hollering black blogs

Another White Excuse:

…we may not be able to respond to inquiries regarding the specific reasons for our decision


What they really saying:

We ain’t home, and don’t leave a message, you black ass motherfucker.

What they tapped out:

Thank you for your understanding.


What they meant:

Fuck you, you poor bloggin-ass nigga.

Now that we got Google turnin they backs on black technology, we got to rise up and get the strength to succeed as a team and pay our motherfucking webhosting bills. Trifling ass Google motherfuckers. Fuck Google. If you need to search the web, use BLACKFIND and stay true. They serving up the finest results on 50 cent, Olivia, and everything you need.

If that site go down from mad cats taking a peep after seeing it on this site, feel free to use SEARCHBLACK or BLACKREFER.

One.

Wrap yo shit up nigga!

Technology dropped by KevSlider on April 27th, 2006.

Here at NiggaKnowTechnology.com we like to keep our new phone wips clean. And nothin’s cleaner than coverin’ your unit up with a jimmy hat right? Well the people over at Speck tend to agree with that and are making codoms for your product. This here phone rubber is specially made for the Treo 700W and the upcoming 700P and it comes in two motherfuckin’ colors pimpin.

I mean this shit is SKIN TIGHT and it won’t allow any scratches to get through on your phone’s body or it’s face. It even has a flip up cover for the screen whenever your lazy nigga ass needs to point and click a name instead of punchin’ that shit up with buttons. Speakin’ of buttons, this thing covers up the right buttons while leaving the other buttons exposed for easy access. No more trying to punch your phone through plastic that is supposedly protectin’ yo shit. Hey if you wanna learn more about these new phone condoms, get your ass over to Speck Products now!

Nigga Book Pro

Technology dropped by MikeNyce on April 25th, 2006.

Ight so now don’t be going motherfucking crazy cause you see the new macbook pro on nigga know technology cause we all know that niggas dont even use computers much less a motherfucking mac nah mean, but peep how I ran up on this shit, I was in Short Hills Mall in uppity whiteville USA short hills NJ, just minding mine looking for some shit to steal nah mean, with a new white breezy I had just smashed at burger king, and we walked right passed the apple store she goes to me like I want that new mac its pretty, first I told that bitch to shutup, then I ask her what the fuck is a mac? she was like they are sexy cool trendy motherfucking computers, so i said fuck it gave her a stolen credit card and had her cop that shit. Bedazzled, next thing you know I am a nigga who owns a mac I almost had to slap myself cause that is a hood violation but as I started to futhat nigga laptopck wit it i was kinda fly cause since the new mac’s are intel based they can run windows and other operating systems with a few hacks or using Apple’s Boot Camp Beta. All in all this is just an awesome motherfucking computer you have basically 2 computers in one, if you black you can chill with those uppity starbucks motherfuckers with apple os cause they is the shi shi foo foo white niggas or be grimey in the motherfucking hood using windows vista that new nigga operating system imma do a full review when I feel like it so make sure you check back bitches.

Black and Bluetooth

Technology dropped by Big Eddie Ed on April 20th, 2006.

FUCK BLUETOOTHI was planning on dropping articles about my favorite shit, bluetooth headsets, but when I was done writing that shit I was running up on some problems. Since this site is like motherfucking FUBU on the technological front, I needed some pictures of some bluetooth headsets being worn by our people. Apparently, white motherfuckers think that they gonna sell more bluetooths if they show the motherfuckers being used by anyone but black people. You can’t find a picture of a nigga with some bluetooths. All day Google giving you nothing but sleepyheaded motherfuckers (shouts to my nigga Bokeem Woodbine), white motherfuckers, and motherfuckers that are black if they happen to move to Vermont or some other place where the brownest thing they ever seen was maple syrup on pancakes.

Here’s a sampling of the pictures thrown up from Google:

WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS

This is how they want they products sold. Shown on white people, sold to other white motherfuckers. Take a look at the images of my disgust:

Red-headed white girl with bluetooth headsetSloppy white motherfucker with bluetooth headsetFine ass white bitch with bluetooth headset

WHITE TRICKERY

Once white owned companies realize that they need to move product out side of the suburbans, they try to get blacker and blacker - but they still refusing to get black with technology.

Dark skinned asian bitch with bluetooth headsetKumar got a motherfuckin bluetooth headsetThats a motherfucking arab with a bluetooth headset

THE ONLY PICTURE OF A BLACK MAN WITH A HEADSET

Black man with a rubberband around his head and cellphone

They think this is the only way a black man is gonna use a cellphone hands free. A motherfucking rubber band around you head. That’s what the fuck the white man wants in your mind. Nigga bluetooth. Boycott bluetooth headsets.

Cingular 8125/TMobile MDA/HTC Wizard

Technology dropped by KevSlider on April 6th, 2006.

Every nigga knows they need their communication. Nigga’s got they sidekicks, they 2-ways whatever. I’m here to talk about some new shit called the HTC Wizard. Taking after the design of the LG Keyboard-Slider phones of the past, the HTC Wizard has a Keyboard that slides out from underneath allowing you to text message, AOL IM, YAHOO IM or MSN Message to your ass is content.

This phone has been adopted by Cingular and relabled the Cingular 8125; it has also been picked up by T-Mobile and is part of their MDA series. They’ve equipped this rig so that it uses the EDGE High speed network. You’ll be able to get a strong internet connection on that playa and hit your shorties up when you need to go balls deep.

New “Jack” City April 06

Technology dropped by MikeNyce on April 4th, 2006.

Yerp! It’s the real Head Nigga In Charge of this nigga technology website. Don’t let my main white nigga DJNewstyle fool you punk bitch ass niggas.Mike Nyce gotchu motherfuckers when it comes to this motherfucking nigga technology NAH MEAN!!! I’m in the KNOW!Ight enough politic’nITS THAT TREO 700 NAHHH MEAN!!!, and bullshit lets get down to the nigga business at hand.

This is our first “Jack” review (for you niggas not in the know, a motherfucking jack is your cell phone) ok now that you have been nigga-rized for today, this edition’s new “Jack” is the Palm Treo 700w. This shit is motherfucking flyer than Three 6 Mafia right now!!! (Shoot out to my niggas in Memphis), it got everything a nigga would ever need in a jack except of course that real nigga technology “chirping” exclusive to Nextel and dat real pre-paid Nigga Nextel aka Boost Mobile.

So when my mans and dem told me bout the treo 700w of course I was madd niggarish, ran out my baby mama’s apt right to the store, spent this monf’s rent paper and baby food money ($399 on a two year activation or $449 on a one year.) and walked out my local Verizon “bodega”with this shit. Dats ok I got that money back in one hour on the street selling dem rocks 1 for 15 and 2 for 25. We got it for real cheap!!So while I was moving that snow I noticed this shit is off the chain, it got dat Windows Mobile 5.0 interface, so basically its a mini motherfucking laptop, it works jus like Windows XP and everythang. It got the windows start button and all that yo as well as your basic phone, calendar (so you know when u got to holla at papi for the re-up), and a tip calculator (but its not like you ever gonna need to be leaving no fucking tips….well for white folk any damn way.) The best part is that you have native support of the basic office suite (don’t get it twisted wit yo chus-sup aka child support payments) for Microsoft Word, Excel, Powerpoint and Outlook. So you can keep track of dem thangs right as you selling them. Holla inventory on the spot, always make sure your count is right.

The next best shit about this phone is the 3rd party application support, its so fucking hot to deaf that if you got a Sling Media Box you can stream your daily doses of 106 & Park, The Parkers and Judge Mathis on this bitch (Sling Media Box review coming….whenever I feel like it bitches.)You can also run AOL Instant Messenger on it to keep it touch with all the white breezies you dun holla’d at online nah mean. (Shout to my main breezie Brook! :) I luv you gurrrrl <3)But on some real shit the thing i love most about this phone is that you can listen to XM RADIO content on it. Now i know all my fellow XM radio heads gonna love the fact you can listen to XM 202 High Voltage all day everyday and never miss a motherfucking moment of OPIE &ANTHONY OR RAW66 NAH MEANNNN!!!. You can even listen to the one and only godfather of this shit DJNewstyle himself on your device, now that is 100% gangsta or download his podcast and listen whenever the fuck you want. Hit his ass up! http://www.djnewstyle.com Tuesday’s and Thursday 10pm - 12am.

Aight thats it i think but you know i forgot shit cause I was high and drunk when i wrote this fucking review for my niggas, plus I ain’t got nothing else to say shit!So basically I mean damn you niggas gotta run out and “steal”….. I mean get you one. Stay Black and I’ll hopefully be back next motherfucking time. -1- yourself niggas

Myspace a nigga too http://www.myspace.com/marvone

And for more infor bout that shit we was talking bout peep dem links below.
http://www.verizonwireless.com
http://www.palm.com