Now that us niggas have lived through another E3, its time to recap on what we’ve seen. Naw fuck it I got a beef with the new PS2..sorry PS3 controller. Now this controller is some ol’ rehashed, watered down, last minute shit that needs to be addressed.

First, the mothafuckers at Sony switch up the boomerang controller and fall back on their old design…I mean WHAT THE HELL Y’ALL. I know it was some sort of mock up prototype and shit but they could have improved upon the silver banana and made it better looking. Second, not only did they remove the cord to make it wireless…THEY TOOK THE RUMBLE FEATURE AWAY YO! How in the hell am I supposed to know if the ground’s rumbeling or if I’m being hit without that huh? DO YOU EXPECT ME TO LOOK AT THE SCREEN INSTEAD OF HAVING THE CONTROLER BLOW UP IN MY HAND?

Sony, I don’t mean to put you on blast cause I got nothin’ but love for a company that probably won’t hire me but this last point got me goin’ CRAZY like The Boys. At E3, the only software developer that knew about the new pitch/yaw feature that allows you to move the controller in the air like the Nintendo Wii WAS A SONY DEVELOPER. Check this shit out, even that crazy Japanese nigga Kojima who makes those Metal Gear Solid games didn’t even know about it. He has to go back and program all that shit in now. WHAT’S THE MOTHERFUCKER GONNA DO WITH THAT NEW TOOL? We could have known if Sony wasn’t trying to copy a nigga and be like Nintendo and innovated that shit they-self. What this means is all those games that you saw at E3 through those flashy videos are gonna be delayed because they want to add that feature in their games. It seems like they took a piece of gum and slapped it in the controller.

Niggas.

The $100 dollar laptop is gonna be a reality. Those cats at MIT been workin mad late nights to bring this project to life, and they almost there. All they gotta do now is offer “NO CREDIT CHECK” purchases and weekly payments (Shouts to my niggas at BLUE HIPPO).

The whole thing is headed up by a dude named Nicholas Negroponte, and I learned a valuable lesson from this nigga. Apparently, you can make some motherfucking loot by making guilty ass white people believe some wild motherfucking claims - if you back it up right.

See, if you gonna get successful with a whack ass business propisition, you gotta make sure you tellin niggas that its for charity. MIT has been talking about how they bringing laptops to every motherfucking child in Africa. They been acting all charitable saying that $100 dollars is gonna get one laptop to one child.

Well, the other day they had a presentation to show they prototypes off to the world, and the laptops had pictures of smiling African children on the screens. They had a slideshow depicting a need for computers in Africa, pamplets, brochures, pie-charts… and they still couldn’t resist inviting a few niggas in a dashikis with them hats Jim Brown wears on the sidelines.

White people be eating this shit up for days. You gonna be hard press to find a white motherfucker that is gonna hold they wallet closed at a display like this. This is the type of shit that gonna make them turn off a Family Ties marathon and pay attention. White people see a dashiki and they gotta spend money. That’s why the fuck Stevie Wonder been sellin all them records despite putting out zero quality tracks after 1975. Support the $100 dollar laptop, and you supporting duped ass white motherfuckers across the globe.

The biggest part of this scam is that they gonna let you pledge to buy the $100 dollar laptop for $300 - in the name of charity. This shit is a white on white scam! White people scammin other white peoples money. Un-motherfucking-precedented.

As if those niggas in Japan needed another excuse for not looking people in the eye, Sony-Ericcson got a new way for those sleepyheads to avoid showing emotion to motherfuckers as they walk the street. That’s right, Sony-Ericcson’s new walkman phone gonna be released in Japan.

What better place to release a JACK than the land of the rising ass sun. These motherfuckers can take they new phone and MOSHI MOSHI and TWEET TWEET or whatever the fuck as much as they damn well feel. When they ain’t BLOOP BLEEPING and SINGY SAYONARAING, them sleepyheads can take full advantage of a few other non-jack related features.

If has all that shit that we come to expect from a jack now-a-motherfucking-days. Camera with 1.3 Megapixels, LCD screen.. but this shit is a walkman. You get a FM radio and a MP3 Player with 1 GB of memory inside the motherfucker. You can also get 4 more GB with a memory card, so don’t hate on this motherfucker if you can’t fit your collection of CRUNK HITS (shouts to my niggas workin that Target CD section).

Sony-Ericcson is set to drop a $180 price tag on it which aint shit anyhow, but thats in Japanese money. After the conversion rate, its gonna cost whatever the fuck its gonna cost - but when it comes here we gonna have it regardless, nigga and you need to know that. If its popular with them sleepyheaded motherfuckers its gonna be released here and all those chirpin niggas are gonna be shouting “MOSHI MOSHI MOTHERFUCKER” then hangin up and evading the white corporations with they own personal soundtracks. Keep you eyes peeled for this shit, unless you a motherfucking sleepyhead from Japan, you ain’t gonna see this for a minute.

Apple got these commercials out that are trying to convert motherfuckers into buying a motherfucking MAC, but who is they really targeting with this bullshit? Check out the commercials on this motherfucking site for a hot minute.

I decided that I gotta expose the subliminal messages that got hidden all up in these motherfuckers. Peep the commercial that got that title “iLife”. Below you gonna see a few screenshots, edited by this nigga right here to show you the true meaning behind these motherfucking commercials. Enjoy it, niggas:

Oh yeah and we gotta do that legal shit too.. these are my motherfucking opinions and my motherfucking interpretations of that motherfucking commercial.

Any damn way, they aint gonna attract no niggas to they products if they gonna use these corny motherfuckers with they white backdrops. Every little detail from the earbuds to the white iPod to that fat niggas business suit be screamin with whiteness. I’d respect that shit if they came right out and just motherfucking said that they aint marketing shit to niggas, but you know how them white establishments be. More to come whenever the fuck I feel like it, bitches.

When you buyin you next computer you need to keep it real and stay true to our people. Dell ain’t shown me that they out for me yet so they not gonna see dime motherfucking one from this nigga. I mean they got a monthly pay plan but thats not serious enough for me. I needed to find a computer outfit that got a appreciation for some niggas that are down with that technology.

The main thing is that the company gotta keep it real. They gotta prove to me that they not just down for them white miles davis starbucks niggas, they gotta show me that they down for the rawest of the raw… and BLUE HIPPO GOT ALL THAT IN MOTHERFUCKING SPADES SON! Drop those niggas a visit and tell me what you see right off the bat.

Check out this professional shit I threw at yal niggas to show you what the fuck I saw:

NO WHITE PEOPLE IN THEY ADS! They got that technology, some black bitches, and a big motherfuckin NO CREDIT CHECK circle slash on the front page. That shit gonna make mad niggas wanna buy they computers and thats how the fuck you keep it real.

The most important shit is they got that GUARANTEED APPROVAL wit that NO CREDIT CHECK. That some clutch shit for my niggas carryin they balances and ridin the final notice train. That means that all those people you know that gotta use the internets at the library can get themself a computer and become readers of the shit we bloggin ass niggas pumpin out. Now all they need is the internets access, and you could get that shit on the cheap at people pc. No one keeps it real like that people pc. They been dedicated to niggas exclusively since like 1992 when they had that commercial during Moesha wit that little nigga in a suit.

For those that don’t remember:

Yeah this is your motherfucking nature lesson update, not exactly a straight up technology article but its a motherfucking wake up call for real. Now we known that white people got impatience for days when it come to the topic of interracial dating, also known as niggas fucking white women.

White motherfuckers ain’t accepting the fact that they sisters, daughters, and they motherfucking wife gotta get curious about smashin on a few niggas in a Burger King parking lot. Now, this aint no new knowledge for NOBODY, but I seen white people droppin that same hate and discrimination in the motherfucking animal kingdom! They hatin on animals now. Its like a bear gotta be somebody’s nigger. Let me scratch it out for a motherfucking minute:

THE MOTHERFUCKING ANIMAL KINGDOM

A grizzly gotta get his fuck on at least thirty seven times in a motherfuckin 24 hour period or they gettin straight up BEDAZZLED. A bear that don’t get a bitch on they tip is a bear that be eating kids at a circus. Take this nigga:

It ain’t no surprise to MY ASS that a animal that gotta fuck so much is gonna be lookin for some variety with that shit. The bear gotta be lookin at the same black bear bitches all day everyday. Like when I hangin with my mens and I see a fine ass white bitch. It gotta be the same shit that this nigga grizzly gotta be feelin when a polar bear rolls up into that niggas stream. Peep this bitch:

THE POINT OF THIS MOTHERFUCKING ARTICLE

Scientists did a DNA test on a bear they suspected to be a motherfucking hybrid between a grizzly and a polar bear. They noticed the nigga look a little different and let they suspicions get the best of them, they killed the nigga just so they white asses could prove they right:

This is like when a white motherfucker notice a little ash on a white nigga (mullato or octaroon for you old school negro league niggas) and now they act all different around him. They used to talk about sports and pussy, but now they spend all day askin him what his favorite shit is from Red Lobster. Like they don’t know its the ULTIMATE FEAST wit them lobster biscuits.

White people got no tolerance. If a grizzly be fucking them white bears, guess what a white man do:

Segway only wants white people to buy they products. Thats real. Check out these suspect ass images straight from the official segway site. Note that I added my own commentary on the motherfuckers:

That’s why a black man has to stick to the classical transportations: cars, trains, planes, and motherfucking bikes. FUCK A SEGWAY.

Besides, segways is for the motherfuckin five-oh any damn how. They market that shit for the government and the police. Notice again my fine-ass comments:

But if the segways is supposed to be for white folk, why they trying to run up on these, selling “pimp my segway” accessories? It came to my attention that they was selling SPINNERS for these faggot nerd bikes.

Now that nobody buyin these faggot scooters they trying to twist a niggas arm into gettin these things by adding spinners! You know a nigga can’t resist the ability to put spinners on anything, but I be DAMNED if any self respecting black mans is ever gonna be seen on the great white nerd chariots. Take your ass to bed white people. FUCK A SEGWAY.