You know that a war been waging on and I’m not talking about the middle east or that bullshit ass TV joint “The War At Home” with Remy from Higher Learning. I’m talking about the war that’s blazing hot right now between all them MP3 grips - and there’s basically like two sides: Apple and Microsoft. Sony, Creative Labs, and Rio - yah need to take your shit to the motherfucking curb with all them James Blunt records and Joey Season One DVD sets. Your shit is garbage nigga. For serious.

You could ask any motherfucker and they gone tell you that this motherfucking year is all about the two most notable MP3 shits: That faggot ass iPod and that motherfucking Zune.. and Microsoft be all lit up on tellin niggas what the fuck they feel about that i-Pod.. even though that zune is equally bitch-made.

Now, all you shifty motherfuckers know what the fuck we think about that iPod, so let a nigga educate the masses about that Zune.

The Zune got a screen that won’t make a nigga squint when he watching his Kobe Tai shits like he don’t even give a fuck. I mean, this ain’t no motherfucking Gameboy screen niggas - for real.. and on the other motherfucking hand, the iPod got some fucked up Nokia cellphone screen or some shit. You can’t even tell if you watching A Spike Lee Joint or a Spring Thomas ass to mouth video.

That Zune also got the ability to send shit to a motherfucker through that WIFI, so you could be dropping them old ass Fat Boys tracks on a nigga while you rollin on the motherfucking bus. I mean, how you gonna argue with crispy ass video and wireless song sharing? Oh yeah - them nasty ass colors. Earth tones, nigga? Them 1978 Three’s Company furniture colors is DISTRACTING.

I ain’t gonna back no iPod, but I can’t back that Zune neither. The only other shit that holds a nigga back on that Zune is that “Welcome to the Social” marketing shit they flooding the public with. Fuck a social. I just need to get at my motherfucking MP3’s, and watch them videos. The ideal shit would be getting a Sleepyhead scientist on the payroll to turn the whole shit into a motherfucking jack - but that’s years away.

Oh and I don’t give a fuck about no celebrity endorsements you trying to get nigga. Come with them real endorsements. I check the motherfucking bands in the Zune store and its a gaggle of them black glasses and red tie wearing white motherfuckers singing about they bad experiences in they 3rd grade lunchroom. How the fuck you gone try to act like Jay Z gonna give a fuck about the Zune?

Yeah, he don’t even know who the fuck you is. So basically, it may be a motherfucking MP3 Christmas my niggas - but it sure ain’t no iPod or Zune Christmas. Hold out for them all in one jacks that got all these features and more. Let a sleepyhead work on that for a minute.

One.