Dear NiggaKnow,

Do you have any interest in a white motherfucker guest contributor?

White Motherfucker

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Let me start off this shit by telling you just what the fuck make Big Eddie Ed want to choke some white people: that trifling ass government we got. These motherfucking senators always tryna make it look like they doing they jobs by taking some good shit and putting a motherfucking stop to it. That shit started with that nigga Joe Lieberman trying to keep violent video games off the shelves and it continue today. For serious, those shifty white motherfuckers going too far once again, my niggas.

Any damn way, some Senator ain’t nobody ever heard of in NY is proposing a law to make it illegal to be on the streets while using an electronic device. That mean that if you rolling out all aggitated tryna soothe your shit with some Earth Wind and Fire you gonna get fined the minute your unscuffed Air-force 1’s touch the crosswalk. Why?

Because another white motherfucker got killed.

Some white motherfucker, probably buying stocks at the time, gets clobbed by a motherfucking firetruck and now I can’t use my motherfucking hands-free to make it clear to a few bitches just how little child support they gonna get? That’s some bullshit for real. Just because white people don’t got that sideways Pele vision don’t mean I can’t dodge a whip and handle a jack. I mean, black people got that sixth sense when it come to dodging shit that could END us. That’s why we make better runningbacks and that’s also how niggas can drive with they left foot out the window on the side mirror. We got perception, you dumb white bitches, and now we gonna get fined for it just because a white motherfucker can’t see a tank rolling down 125th when he got a little Bryan Adams in his motherfucking ear canals.

Here’s a better solution: instead of taxing niggas for they proficiency in gadgets, how about you penalize white people for they inability to do more than one motherfucking thing at a time? The next time some white jogger goes from 12 to 65 miles per hour and living to dead at the same instant, tax that niggas family for being related to some inept dead white motherfucker who just HAD TO hook his faggot ass Nano into his bitch-made iPod ready Nikes. That white jogger got money he got to lose, but the white government ain’t gonna let a nigga get at no paper.

I just want the government to stop trying to look busy by taking away all the shit we love, like them nasty ass blowjob booths, or video games, and especially white people getting run the fuck down by vehicles they ain’t even aware of.