Those Asians/African niggas that be running out the reeds with umbrellas to sell when they feel a drop on they sleepyheaded ass faces got no motherfucking shame. Selling some bullshit ass garage-made T-Shirt with every random ass dead nigga who sang a song or lit up a screen pasted up on the front of that bitch. I mean, if you gonna get money on the dead, AT LEAST hit a nigga with a 4XL beefy-tee. Motherfuckers got the shortest and thinnest shirts possible. I know you need to cut costs. I know we in a motherfucking recession and you love some motherfucking Michael Jordan endorsed undershirts, but you niggas is going one step away from digging dead motherfuckers up for dollars.

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It’s your boy Big Eddie Ed back up in this bitch like it stanks and you ain’t even know where the fuck it come from. And let me level with you niggas: shit straight stanking right now. Let’s get this shit on the for real basis my niggas: Today is a special holiday for white motherfuckers that stay on Digg stroking they cock hoping that “10 Reasons to love Steve Jobs” article gone hit the front page. Literally, if you ain’t in motherfucking Arkansas, you ain’t gonna see no motherfucking white people anywhere in the world. They all waiting in line in front of that shiny, glossy (whites only), Apple store. Yeah niggas, it’s iPhone 2.0 day.

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Yo it’s Maf dropping that social science for the 2000 and H8, but what I really wanna know is…

WHY THE FUCK IS BILL COSBY MAKING A RAP ALBUM?!?!

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Dear NiggaKnow,

I am a white motherfucker with a problem. I’ve always identified with urban culture far more than typical white culture. As a result, my speech has a more urban texture, and my wardrobe does as well. So my white friends always seem to hate when I’m wearing a white tee and a do-rag and talking about chasing gwap and nailing fine breezies that look like Kobe Tai. How do I make these biters aware that this is how I am, and that I’m not going to change just because some white motherfuckers say I should?

One.

White DoeBoy

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So I don’t know if all of you true hood niggas heard this shit, but I guess them sleepyheaded video game motherfuckers at Nintendo thought they Wii systems wasn’t gay enough and decided that white motherfuckers needed to read Digg on they Televisions, when them shits ain’t bumpin out season 1 Growing Pains or whatever shit that stupid white motherfuckers be wasting they paychecks on.

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Let me start off this shit by telling you just what the fuck make Big Eddie Ed want to choke some white people: that trifling ass government we got. These motherfucking senators always tryna make it look like they doing they jobs by taking some good shit and putting a motherfucking stop to it. That shit started with that nigga Joe Lieberman trying to keep violent video games off the shelves and it continue today. For serious, those shifty white motherfuckers going too far once again, my niggas.

Any damn way, some Senator ain’t nobody ever heard of in NY is proposing a law to make it illegal to be on the streets while using an electronic device. That mean that if you rolling out all aggitated tryna soothe your shit with some Earth Wind and Fire you gonna get fined the minute your unscuffed Air-force 1’s touch the crosswalk. Why?

Because another white motherfucker got killed.

Some white motherfucker, probably buying stocks at the time, gets clobbed by a motherfucking firetruck and now I can’t use my motherfucking hands-free to make it clear to a few bitches just how little child support they gonna get? That’s some bullshit for real. Just because white people don’t got that sideways Pele vision don’t mean I can’t dodge a whip and handle a jack. I mean, black people got that sixth sense when it come to dodging shit that could END us. That’s why we make better runningbacks and that’s also how niggas can drive with they left foot out the window on the side mirror. We got perception, you dumb white bitches, and now we gonna get fined for it just because a white motherfucker can’t see a tank rolling down 125th when he got a little Bryan Adams in his motherfucking ear canals.

Here’s a better solution: instead of taxing niggas for they proficiency in gadgets, how about you penalize white people for they inability to do more than one motherfucking thing at a time? The next time some white jogger goes from 12 to 65 miles per hour and living to dead at the same instant, tax that niggas family for being related to some inept dead white motherfucker who just HAD TO hook his faggot ass Nano into his bitch-made iPod ready Nikes. That white jogger got money he got to lose, but the white government ain’t gonna let a nigga get at no paper.

I just want the government to stop trying to look busy by taking away all the shit we love, like them nasty ass blowjob booths, or video games, and especially white people getting run the fuck down by vehicles they ain’t even aware of.

You motherfuckers that been with NiggaKnow since the beginning know that we dunked keys on a gaggle of them jacks. A motherfucking gaggle, nigga. We all over them MP3 grips, jacks, and all that - and today we got a update about that latest shit: The iPhone. Oh, and before you shifted ass white motherfuckers decide you got to say some shit about how we late on this, fall the fuck back. Only reason we coming late on this because I had hope on the motherfucking street that this bitch-made bullshit was some kind of white hoax. I’m like the only nigga out there right now that hate the shit. Only me and that nigga Bill Gates.

Any damn way, I got to talk shit on that iPhone bull. That shit got me aggitated, so be warned, white motherfuckers. If you got here from Digg or whatever the fuck, strap your motherfucking safety belts on because you might actually get out your chair for once when you read some real shit that criticizes Apple and ain’t the text version of sucking that nigga Steve Jobs dick.

The iPhone is basically a touchscreen iPod that you could hook up to some faggot ass Cingular service. That Apple Jack work well for some shit, but most of the time it ain’t worth a fuck. For example, that iPhone shit ain’t worth a fuck when it come to looking like you ain’t a faggot, but on the other hand the motherfucker second to none when it come to dropping calls and getting clipped outta white fingers.

THE iPHONE AND WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS:
MADE FOR EACH OTHER

Touchscreen iPod and Phone? The fuck out with that bullshit. How the fuck you gone get excited about a iPod with Jack capabilities you can’t even holla at black bitches with? This the type of shit only those white bitches be tolerating. The minute a black bitch find out you tryna call her with a motherfucking Apple Jack that bitch gonna ruin your motherfucking eardrums. Its all good though, white people. At least you could give your favorite John Tesh mp3 a +1 in that Play Count column as your eyes drip and you write about your faggot ass feelings on your motherfucking Livejournal.

Apple Jack? Nigga, FUCK Steve Jobs.

Shit is strictly for white motherfuckers. No niggas getting excited about some shit from Steve Jobs. That shit could up and change the minute the nigga start handing out some shit redesigned for niggas, but until then that nigga don’t get a sheet out my motherfucking reams.

This is a quick one, so I’m gone let this strip speak for it self.

This shit is a parody, nigga. Come to your own conclusions, I mean DAMN. One, bitches.

IBM is trying to get back to they motherfucking hey-day when they ran shit on that mainframe game and nobody gave a fuck about any other company. Well, its not like they just started trying. I mean, they been trying to do that shit for days, since like 1992 when they made those mad cheap 486-SX 25 Aptivas, and got decidedly niggarish.. selling they products at like County fairs and shit. The only way those motherfuckers coulda fallen off quicker was if they jacked that Dr. Sbaitso joint from Creative Labs and changed the voice from Steven Hawking to a nigga like Kadeem Hardison. Let me take an opportunity to tip some out for the cast of “Different World” - yah niggas was cancelled before your time.

Any damn way, I just found out that IBM was given $35 million dollars to build a supercomputer that could do “1,000 trillion” calculations a second, which all yal niggas know is just white trickery to make it look more impressive. 1,000 trillion is a motherfucking Quadrillion. You white motherfuckers been inventing and twisting words to make your shit seem more important too. Those shifted ass niggas at Reuters been calling that shit a “petaflop”, but that shit gotta be faker than that Lindsay Lohan home movie I copped on Limewire. I’m not trying to be the nigga responsible for perpetrating these motherfucking grandiose Ronco bullshit talking points, so lets just say that this motherfuckers faster than those dormant ass aborigine niggas that appeared out of nowhere and was chasing Gilligan around the lagoon for half an episode. That’s mad fast too, because that nigga Gilligan was so shook that he was running on water to try and get away.

So look, the Government gave these people $35 million because IBM CLAIMS they can make this shit happen. IBM throws around some motherfucking terms like “petaflops” and “Redhat Linux” and all a sudden these congressmen turn into some faggot ass Digg members that just dugg they fifteenth “Top ten reasons we love that nigga Steve Jobs” list. They all in a motherfucking frenzy for some shit they THINK they could do! How the fuck do they know if they gonna end up with a $35 million dollar Aptiva? They don’t know, but nigga, after all - its IBM. Yeah they could make some wildin’ ass claims and not deliver, but that’s because they got a motherfucking name. Love those niggas or hate em, the motherfuckers have never sold a WHITE LAPTOP, they never jumped on that faggot ass iPod bandwagon, and they also put that Russian Chess nigga right the fuck out of business too.

This project, codenamed “roadrunner”, gonna be developed in the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico, or that place all those white motherfuckers been camping out because they seen ET’s autopsy on YouTube. One.

We always up on those web stats, but my favorite shit to see is how the fuck you got here. Even though Google is not down with this shit, a lot of motherfuckers use it to get here… but they don’t always find what the fuck they looking for. Motherfuckers been looking for some fucked up shit and I want to help those motherfuckers out by answering the questions they might have been asking that nigga google. So lets check just what the fuck a few of you didn’t find on our motherfucking site:

Google: what+does+a+nigga+won’t+front+mean?

This one could either be a white motherfucker, or one of those curious motherfuckers from the middle east that keep asking me what the fuck this mean, what the fuck that mean.. nigga, don’t they got BET in Saudi Arabia??

Google: digg “banned submit list”

Yeah, they banned our site on digg so you can’t submit the hot shit we rain down on you motherfuckers. Those shook bitches is afraid of a few tech savvy niggas. Kevin Rose: take your shit back to “the screen savers”, you bitch-made ass white motherfucker. You may have to carry a bat to keep those pasty faggot ass-kissing motherfuckers that use your site off your dick, but it don’t mean that you gotta hate on NiggaKnow.

Google: girlfriend+”had+sex+with+a+black”

How much of a white motherfucker is you that when your bitch get a taste of that nigga jelly you gotta use google for advice? What the fuck google gonna show you to make it all better, besides some of them Spring Thomas joints.

Google: kobe tai comeback 2006

Wishful thinking my nigga. Aint gone happen, but i feel you on that. I mean, on some other site they gonna check they stats and see the time I used google to find a McDonalds that still got the McRib.

Google: your a fagot

You good at english too, but like your moms asshole, faggot always got 2 G’s up in it. one.

Google: video ipod coolest shit nigga

WHITE MOTHERFUCKER ALERT! The only time a video ipod is the “coolest shit” is when we rip that shit off the bi-cep strap of some white jogger. Niggas don’t google for the “coolest shit”.. we save that shit for Black Find.

Google: can’t burn syriana with dvd shrink?

Once and for all, here’s how the fuck you burn George Clooney’s “Syriana”:

Actually, if you even cop that shit from any place but those bootleg niggas, you may as well throw your motherfucking wallet in the fire too.

That concludes this motherfucking edition of What You Googlin, Nigga.. tune in for more of your misguided misdirected bullshit.. well, whenever the fuck we feel like it. One.