So your boy been trill on that Twitter bullshit and as I promised you grimey motherfuckers, I’m about to hit you with the full report.
What is really good niggas? Its your boy Big Eddie Ed back with another one, asking you to pretend you bitch made enough to work at Google. Pretend, niggas. Imagine youse a bitch and you got shit twisted up to the point where you think every motherfucking idea worth dropping a guap on. Well, that’s what these motherfuckers did. They had they lucrative ass job at Google, bounced, and set out on they own business - a search engine of their own.
Normally I’d be down with niggas who ain’t down with google, but honestly, these niggas is stupid.
It’s your boy Big Eddie Ed back up in this bitch like it stanks and you ain’t even know where the fuck it come from. And let me level with you niggas: shit straight stanking right now. Let’s get this shit on the for real basis my niggas: Today is a special holiday for white motherfuckers that stay on Digg stroking they cock hoping that “10 Reasons to love Steve Jobs” article gone hit the front page. Literally, if you ain’t in motherfucking Arkansas, you ain’t gonna see no motherfucking white people anywhere in the world. They all waiting in line in front of that shiny, glossy (whites only), Apple store. Yeah niggas, it’s iPhone 2.0 day.
Its your boy BigEddieEd back with another update. First off, fuck you update thirsty niggas - we ain’t on a motherfucking schedule so stop acting like you owed some niggarishness everytime a month go by. I’m like, if you gonna post comments and pretend you my nigga Bokeem Woodbine, the least you could do is drop a mouse on some of these motherfucking ads.
What is really motherfucking goodie all youse loyal ass niggaknow niggas, you know who the fuck it is. Now I been taking care of shit like I’m that white motherfucker Mike Rowe on the Discovery Channel nigga, and yeah I flip to that shit when I aint watching Isiah Thomas take a motherfucking chain to the Knicks franchise, or listening to another faggot on the steps of the Idaho courthouse lying about what he gonna do with this fucking country when he scribbling in the oval office. So i been shying away from talking about technology let alone motherfucking anything and leaving you niggas waiting.
Motorola been doing any motherfucking thing they can to try to get back the ground they been losing since Sleepyheads decided they ain’t trying to be the last motherfuckers gripping a RAZR. Koreans been flocking to the iPhone like it wasn’t nothing, leaving all that Motorola bullshit strapped into those motherfucking utility belts Indian motherfuckers been clicking all they jacks and mp3 grips into.
I mean, Motorola was on they motherfucking game with that RAZR for a minute - Even white kids been carrying that motherfucker, snapping them snaps, shooting off texts to they one black friend they family approve of who using that nigga nextel (Boost Mobile), but they they got greedy and kept on dropping some faggot ass jacks, playing them like they the next level, but I can’t even tell you the name of one nigga that is willing to admit he shouts at bitches on a KRAZR, a RIZR, or a ROKR.
What’s good, niggas? Its your boy, back from beasting on them grimey niggas leaving they dirty ass plates right the fuck where they was as they stay posted up on the motherfucking couch because they too tired from eating ham steaks. Any damn way, I’m starting some new shit that I’m calling the White Site Profile. Its my list of websites white motherfuckers put up that ain’t about Guitar Hero, Steve Jobs, or Japanese Cartoon bitches with tentacle titties. The first motherfucking entry is White Whine, the internet’s first ever archive of white motherfuckerishness.
So Amazon unveiled they latest shit: An e-book reader called Kindle. Before I get in depth, consider this shit right here. When you see some white motherfucker in a suit shouting about his new products and even them SoHo living pastey face niggas ain’t feeling it, you almost need a motherfucking bombshelter for what the fuck gonna happen with that product. I mean, normally white people be eating up what ever the fuck a bald white man in a suit be selling them, even if its 4 AM and that crispy TV nigga talking about some sleepyhead knife set. When it come to the Amazon Kindle, this shit right here is straight motherfucking GARBAGE in ALL circles. Feel me?
Ever since that nigga Steve Jobs got white folk to lose they mind with that iPhone bullshit, motherfuckers been steady looking for they own way to clutch Apple coat tails and basically trick niggas into thinking they shit worth buying. It seem like every goddamn company that ever sold a motherfucking jack or a mp3 grip got they own iPhone rip-off now, and them grimey bitches at Sprint don’t want to be left the fuck in the dust.
What’s really good my niggas. Real talk, I want to start this motherfucking update by shouting to my stupid, early-adopting-ass white niggas that copped that motherfucking iPhone with they dick on hard, waiting on some line full of equally unbathed scraggly ass white motherfuckers wearing they camo hats and girl jeans. You niggas is stupid for motherfucking real. I mean, 600 dollars for a motherfucking Apple jack with a god damn screen that be looking like the glass at a peep show after a motherfucking minute, then like a week later your motherfucking asses all flabbergasted at a $200 price cut.
