By now you motherfuckers gotta believe that NiggaKnow is the home for all that hot technology. I mean, we like Wired, Gizmodo, and Dub Magazine all rolled the fuck up into one, but from time to time a nigga gotta admit that he can’t possibly know everything. Sometimes we gotta hit you with the shit that niggas DON’T know.

For example, what the fuck is up with all this technology bullshit they got for dogs, nigga? If you got at me back in the day and told me motherfuckers was throwing gwap at technology for they pets, I would have shook your motherfucking jaw the fuck loose and sold your shoes for some of them little ass pebbles. Not rocks, nigga - PEBBLES. Them worthless little ass shits white motherfuckers be throwing mad paper at when they ain’t even positive if you giving them soap chips or sno-caps.

So I did my research, and apparently, white motherfuckers doing all kinds of shit for they motherfucking dogs. They so afraid that “Princess” gone take chunks out some paperboy ass they putting shit like invisible fences around they evil white homes. INVISIBLE FENCES NIGGA! Wires buried deep underground that constantly send out sound waves or some shit that will ZAP the fuck out they beloved ass pet if the motherfucker decide he want to sniff a dog asshole in the next motherfucking yard… and they do this shit so they protected from some legal shit over a tooth snappin ass dog AND so that motherfucking dog don’t get run the fuck down by a nigga pushing that Escalade down they forbidden white streets.

Oh, but what if that dog barks too motherfucking much? Yeah, I know, who gives a shit if a dog barking, but white people hate some barking dogs so much that they commissioned some white motherfucker scientists to come up with a way to stop that shit. The answer? Electrons, nigga. Notice a motherfucking trend niggas? When white people want shit to stop - they bring that electrical pain for real. That’s real white technology. No cures for cancer or AIDS (not that they trying to cure some shit they invented any damn how) but they can electricute the fuck out some shit to make it behave how the fuck they want it to.

I beg you motherfuckers: roll through the motherfucking barrio some time. (White motherfuckers, you do this shit too, but roll up that glass and eject that John Tesh shit you bumping). Roll through the barrio and see what the fuck them Mexicans doing with they dogs. I mean, if them Spanish niggas is feelin generous, THEY MIGHT have they pitbulls inside the house. That’s if you lucky. Any other motherfucking day, pitbulls is tearing off baby faces till the sun go down. You think a Mexican motherfucker gonna spend one motherfucking cent on some bark collars? Get the fuck out with that bullshit. They too busy standing along the sidewalks leaning on some shit to give a fuck about who the fuck gets eaten by they pets. I respect that shit too, I mean Black people would do the same shit too if we ever felt the need to own a motherfucking dog. We ain’t even got no time for canines let alone some motherfucking canine-technology. If you don’t believe a nigga, use that filthy ass Google and look for a few snaps of a nigga with a motherfucking dog.

Even Google knows why the fuck nigga don’t know dog technology. Say word.

Check the previous edition of Nigga Don’t Know, where we spoke about those motherfucking Fish Finders.

one.

Nigga Know is no stranger to rejection letters from White Motherfucker companies that ain’t got no love for them tech savvy bloggin-ass niggas with a thirst for paper. I mean, Google don’t want niggas caking off that Adsense, Cafepress don’t want profitable niggas walking the Earth, and now these motherfuckers got a brand new crispy establishment hangin on they motherfucking bandwagon: PayPerPost.

PayPerPost is a website that a lot of lying ass motherfuckers use to get paid for some fake reviews where they basically suck the motherfucking dicks of the companies and the products they writing all this motherfucking bullshit about. I mean, I’m all about getting that motherfucking money, but I’m gonna speak on shit they way it gotta be spoke, nah mean? If some Sleepyhead roll out with a brand new cellphone that got a motherfucking George Foreman grill built in, I ain’t gonna be the nigga to show love to that type of tricky ass Japanese bullshit. The lonely ass white motherfuckers on that PayPerPost might, but nigga I keep it the fuck real.

..but money make a nigga read, so I read they site.

These motherfuckers sell they shit well, because I gotta admit they roped a nigga from the get. The whole scheme that they be spinning is that they gone hit you with that paper when you review some motherfucking products on your motherfucking website. Well, NiggaKnow reviews products. NiggaKnow gets the attention of the motherfucking companies they review. Why the fuck shouldn’t NiggaKnow try to grip on that PayPerPost gwap? I signed the fuck up and once again, white motherfuckers try to back the fuck out the deal:

Dear Edward Williams,

This is a notification to let you know that your blog, Nigga Know Technology, has been rejected for the following reason(s):
——————————
I’m sorry, as awesome as your blog is- and it really is- we are unable to accept it because we do not accept blogs with multiple authors.
——————————
Please log into PayPerPost.com (https://payperpost.com/login) to correct this issue and resubmit the blog, or to delete the blog.

Thank you,

The PayPerPost Team
Oh so now my shit is “awesome” .. but it ain’t “awesome” enough to take none of your motherfucking paper? We got mad knowledgeable motherfuckers that stay true to the motherfucking game, and that’s a problem we need to correct? I didn’t see no clause on your site that you gotta be a lyin ass white motherfucker with a shoe box of figurines to collect them checks. Nigga FALL THE FUCK BACK on that shit and PAY A NIGGA.

Nigga Know STILL gone get your motherfucking money. You motherfuckers may see ads for this bullshit on this motherfucking site. Every time that shit gets clicked, a tech-savvy nigga gets they paper. Teach those motherfuckers a lesson - I mean, if you gonna lie about them tech reviews and tell motherfuckers that the Zune is worth a shit - you gone have some motherfucking repercussions.

The only real niggas that ain’t afraid to pay out is ADBRITE with my honorary nigga Pud. Yeah, he white, but don’t hold that shit against him.

One.

When dis nigga here ain’t trying to infiltrate the white man and find out their workings by playing World of Warcraft…he’s going to the gym and tryin to get all swoll’ed up to get a bitch to notice him. So I take my mothafuckin’ ass to the local college gym where all the fine women is at and hop on a treadmill and put the earbuds in. Now you know a nigga get all sweaty an’ shit in the gym and that can cause slipperyness. That shit ain’t good for the earbuds cause a nigga never looks good trying to keep headphones in the ear and they keep slippin’ out from the sweat.

Enter the motherfuckin’ Marshmallow earbuds from JVC. I’ve been testin these things out fo’ 2 weeks now and I don’t have any complaints. Okay maybe one…the sound is muffled, but I ain’t gonna stress on that shit cause I’ve never been more satisfied. In-ear headphones aren’t a new thang though…but these have a foam rubber insert that expands when you crush them shits down and shove them in your ear. Think of those earplugs you twist in your finger and insert so that you can’t hear the alarm clock in the morning to go to your job at the motherfuckin’ Burger King.

Like I said though, there are others out there like the hard to find Sparkplug by Koss…but that’s old hat by now. You need the new improved foam rubber tech. Noth that old squarish shit that don’t fit into your round ear hole.

If you’se a dick smokin’ motherfucker or a woman you can get the fruity colors that it comes in (blue, pink, and lime green), or you can be a real nigga and get black. That’s right get black, be black, real niggas what!

Check em out here.

One.

Okay okay okay. The Last Real New Yawker back. If you ever come through South Side QB boro you gonna see why ya nigga been too caught up with his shit and his peoples to be writing these posts more regular like he should. I don’t fuck with them cubicles with one of them fag ass Garfield calendars on my wall you dig. My name not Brad nigga, my name not Brad.

But anyways, up in that faggot little brain of yours hiding under your caesar, you thinking, “well now you gonna come with a review of some homo product that every pasty hipster in Minnesota be dying to grip, right?” Nah playa not today, not today. Today Imma bring it a little different. The other morning I was browsing CNN.com looking for some follow up on the shit that comes spewing out John Kerry three foot long face, and what did a nigga spy, but a article called “Hip-hop gets its game on.” Now this no usual ass piece where some sushi-eating “down” 34 year old white boys be trying to express they appreciation for black culture and all that, like them shaggy haired 90 pound NYU students that wonder why they keep getting robbed cuz they think they got the right to be living on 136th and Broadway cuz they “understand.” This a piece about some of a nigga favorite things: video games, motherfucking music, and stomping a nigga head on the subway for whatever reason. My nigga, you saying, hip hop and video games, they complete opposites! No pizza faced scrawny faggot wearing braces and jerking off three times a hour to tentacle anime porn gonna have anything to do with the streets and no nigga who working the strip gonna come home after a long day and fire up that level 78 dwarf magician, nah mean. But don’t get me wrong: video games not only for Koreans. I mean, theres a difference between shit like NBA Live and Dungeonquest or whatever the fuck, or GTA: San Andreas and some fruity Asian Final Fantasy game where some dick with pointy blonde hair and capris be taking turns with a nigga with a fucking gatling gun on his arm to attack some big ass monster that look like a giant nut sack.

So this article about one of them new Def Jam fighting games that be coming out for the next generation consoles. So what makes this shit any different from the other games? Why I be talking about it? Apparently, them niggas over at Def Jam Interactive and EA saying that in this motherfucker, “Music plays a much bigger role in this title than in the past two.” Apparently, whatever music that bumping whether it from the west coast, the east coast, Chitown or the ATL, influences the environment that you got Method Man beating the shit outta Paul Wall in. So the game will have shit like - I’m not making this up, this is what them retards over at CaucasianNewsNetwork saying - a car wash that operates to the beat of the music, that you can throw bitch ass niggas like Jibbs into. “Each song played in each environment will open up unique interactions.” What the fuck does that mean? I never heard anything so motherfucking vague, son. But, anyways, then you can like download ya own music and get Mobb Deep bumping during ya fights.

Lemme tell you a couple motherfucking things. First off, before they come out, games always say they do innovative ass shit like this. The Jungle Book II video game probably said in some AsianFaggotWeekly gaming magazine they was gonna have some hot ass disembowelment technology so you can play as that crazy bear nigga and rip heads off cracked out monkeys, but then that game release two months later and that shit sucked so much big black nigga dick that it didn’t even sell to six year olds wearing bike helmets in wheelchairs. Second off, the bitch who heads Def Jam Interactive. Guess what her name is? Joanna Jackson? Khadijah Jones? Nah nigga, motherfucking Lauren Wirtzer. How the fuck they trying to push a product featuring the music and the likenesses of the black man, talking about “Gaming is almost intrinsic in hip-hop,” and “Every artist who goes on the road is going to have some sort of PlayStation or Xbox on their tour bus. It goes hand in hand,” when you a 45 year old Jewish bitch from Connecticut? This game is some fake ass shit and is probably gonna not bring nothing new to the table as usual, just having some run of the mill industry niggas fucking up Paul Wall, again. Why not play one of them Japanese games where the girls got they own technology, that makes they titties bounce realistically? Fuck this def jam interactive bullshit.

Last night, while you was taking your kids out to them rich white neighborhoods for some candy that ain’t laced with the Government’s poison, there was some major motherfucking technology news.

Apparently, some motherfuckers up and bombed on those shifty niggas at Paypal - and when I say bombed, I mean with actual motherfucking explosives and not those aggressive beats and lyrics you might find in a certain unreleased diss track by your boy Jay-Z (Retirement’s over niggas. SAY WORD!).

Any damn way, a motherfucking bomb exploded outside that PayPal headquarters and ain’t shit else broke, but a motherfucking plate glass window. No motherfucking injuries. No fainting passed out bitch made motherfuckers. Just a motherfucking popped plate glass window.

So whoever did this done fucked up for real. I mean, if you gonna blow shit the fuck up, you gotta do better than cracking some glass and costing a few white motherfucking bankers they lunch breaks. What kind of motherfucker could have done this shit?

NONE OF THE MOTHERFUCKING ABOVE. If someone gone get heated enough to bomb some shit, there’s only one kind of motherfucker that gone get that way cause they unhappy with a motherfucking web site. So who could it be?

WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS. Who the fuck else? If you wanna find the motherfucker that done this, you gonna have to comb that motherfucking list of all NASCAR Dinner Plate / Used Panty auctions. White motherfuckers don’t know shit about crime, for real. One.

Now that they tryna cure that AIDS with some bitch-made ass red nanos, here’s a special motherfucking iPod you ain’t never gone see:

If you cop that imaginary non-existant shit-brown iPod nono, we gone donate $10 dollars to find a motherfucking cure for mud butt.

Office Depot got a 19″ Widescreen LCD Monitor for $159 - and you don’t gotta send rebates out to nobody, nigga. This is a time sensitive sale that ends on 11/4/2006.

It’s got that DVI and built-in speakers suitable for white motherfucker use, but they ain’t shit compared to what the fuck I got bumping in my motherfucking trunk. Any damn way, with a max resolution of 1440×900, this shit look bangin as a motherfucker wether you trying to buck them 8 year old Japanese niggas at some counterstrike or you running them Kobe Tai DVDs.

Yeah, its a no-name brand, but according to those niggas at Fast Hardware, this shit is bedazzled as all motherfucking get-out. So this shit is deceptive like them NYC Jamaican bedsheet watches. That reviewer even wrote some shit like he can’t even tell the difference between this monitor or one them crispy ass $500 LCD shits your caking ass boss been copping for days.

I’mma have two of these motherfuckers for real. Get yours while supplies last nigga, they say the sale gonna be over November 4th in the ‘06.

This is a quick one, so I’m gone let this strip speak for it self.

This shit is a parody, nigga. Come to your own conclusions, I mean DAMN. One, bitches.

My niggas, you know what? Fuck a bitch. Fuck women fat or skinny. Fuck a girl who got a big nigga dick swingin’ in front of em but they ain’t bitin’ like the fish that they is. Newstyle you wanted an update, here it is mothafucka.

You know how you go out to a club and try and get a holla at a bitch and she don’t holla back? Use the words “fuck em” right in front of they bitch faces and see what happens. You’ll get their motherfuckin’ attention and then what? Turn your face around and kick dust at em as you move on to the next girl. If that girl gon’ fuck around and say ‘no’…use the previous act that you dun dun and get to the next girl…cause there’s millions of tricks out there. You’re bound to get one playa. Don’t dwell on one girl cause they don’t know shit what you got to offer.

Matter of fact, get yo bitch for the night, and that’s it. Kick her ass OUT. I know I’m talkin’ some 1995 shit but the booze take this shit out a nigga and a nigga gotta write shit down ya hurd?

Good night, sleep tight, skeet so hard you hit the light.

Yo, you might have noticed that your boy BigEddieEd ain’t tryna be no motherfucking fan of that nigga Steve Jobs. I mean, I been hating on the shit he producing for days, but today I’m gonna hit you with some new shit. Yeah, today is the motherfucking day that I am gonna offer some constructive ass critiques about that motherfucking iPod Nano bullshit.

The nano was hot for like a month when Niggas amazed that they could get all they Pete Rock Petestrumentals on a shiny new grip that ain’t no thicker than that motherfucking CD Changer remote yah niggas used to live by in like 1996. Shouts down, or up, or where ever the fuck they gotta go, to my nigga Makaveli (If you don’t know, that’s Tupac, white motherfuckers - show some motherfucking respect). Here’s how the motherfucking Nano looked when that shit was semi-blazing on the street:

I mean, it ain’t bad but its still some bitch-made ass bullshit - and that shifty motherfucker Steve Jobs KNEW that shit. Apple always be putting out some shit only to change how the fuck it looks like a year later. That pasty motherfucker Steve Jobs can’t live without changing shit.. except for that crusty ass black turtleneck and them 1989 stonewash jeans. I mean, for real - change your damn clothes. Nigga got a closet full of the same shit like he the star of that bullshit ass TV show, Monk. Varietize nigga, for serious - but here’s how the fuck he change the motherfucking Nano:

Heres how it go: Apple always taking a stale product, change the color or some bullshit, then the motherfuckers re-release it with a higher price tag. Them changes ain’t worth shit neither. I mean, fuck an aluminum case, and fuck them round-shaped earbuds. That shit is played the fuck out and its already been done time and time again my niggas. They need to take they ass back to the original design and start right the fuck from there.

I felt bad for the motherfuckers so I decided to give them some shit to think about - a design that is truly bedazzled. So motherfucking bedazzled that I’d throw my motherfucking stolen credit cards out the windows and buy the shit with my own shit. Behold, Niggas:

The iPod NiggaNano - coming to stores whenever the fuck that nigga Steve Jobs wakes the fuck up and trades in that motherfucking mime outfit for a throwback. Oh yeah and before I’m out on this shit, let me tell you motherfuckers that these opinions is my own and all the accusations is pure allegations. Come up with your own motherfucking conclusions. One yourself bitches.