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White Motherfucker Tragedy: Lohan Arrested

The Media dropped by BigEddieEd on July 24th, 2007.

Drunk with Yayo, a suspended license, and some freckled ass tittiesIn a classic case of white entitlement, that bitch with some big ass titties, Lindsay Lohan, got caught driving around fucked up and holding that yayo on a suspended license. This ain’t even about a bitch thinking she gully, because ridin dirty ain’t about shit for white motherfuckers. This is about some white bitch who convinced she could do whatever the fuck she want and get away with it because she got some freckled-ass tittes. I mean, this base-head bitch got more problems than she know what the fuck to do with, and now she about to be the center of white awareness for the next motherfucking month.

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Stolen By White Motherfuckers: Russell Simmons

The Media dropped by BigEddieEd on April 30th, 2007.

Russell Simmons has a black veneer hiding his ill gotten whitenessLet me start this shit off by saying that you motherfuckers need to read this site on the daily, nigga - because if you didn’t you wouldn’t hear the whole story. By now you know that Russell Simmons said some shit like he gonna ban certain words from hip hop, but whatever nigga. I already seen what happened to that nigga coming for miles and as tragic as the shit is, its a wrap. That nigga has been stolen by white motherfuckers, and there ain’t no telling who the fuck gone be next.

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Cam’ron On 60 Minutes?

The Media dropped by BigEddieEd on April 20th, 2007.

That nigga Mike Wallace was down even if it was only on the motherfucking DLEver since Ed Bradley died, black people been ignoring 60 minutes because that down ass nigga Mike Bradley ain’t on the show no more and we don’t give a fuck about no belly-aching ass Andy Rooney. Well, it looks like you gonna have to put them TIVO’d episodes of Flavor of Love Charm School on hold Sunday night because 60 minutes gone get gully. The white motherfuckers behind this show decided its time to examine just why the fuck niggas and the police ain’t hit it off yet. The topic of snitchin’ is set to come up during the highlight of the piece when a few crispy white motherfuckers pretend they understand rap and interview Cam’ron.

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That John Mark Karr bullshit

The Media dropped by That Nigga Gumby on August 22nd, 2006.

That John Mark Karr StareNow I know it’s not about technology, but this shit is fucked up, and I aint talking bout no “discrepancies in confession” neither. After all this is Nigga Know - it’s not like any of us is going to actually shed a tear for some dumb honky that gave up and turned himself in, especially if it might be some shit he didn’t do. Fuck him, rookie. What’s got me all fucked up is that nobody’s pointing out that this whole situation is racist as hell. Am I the only nigga seeing this shit? Allow me to explain…

THIS SHIT RACIST PART 1:

This motherfucker walked around for a damn decade before he was “caught”. The local pigs could have been looking for whoever killed that future white breezy instead of harassing every nigga in Colorado (AKA the Broncos and Nuggets rosters). That crazy-eyed white dude was probably creeping through her neighborhood in a damn ice cream truck with his dick out while the police steady pulling niggas over for moving around in anything more expensive than a pair of new Jordan’s. Shit, it’s getting to the point where white dudes HAVE TO give themselves up in order for the police to pay any attention to them. That fucking BTK Killer gutted like 20 people and had to send fucking love letters to the pigs to even get noticed.

THIS SHIT RACIST PART 2:

That John Mark Karr dude had champagne and other rich boy shit on the plane ride back to the U.S. Meanwhile, an arrested black man is greeted by the police via a kick to they grill and getting thrown head first into the damn squad car. Fuck that “watch your head” bullshit. Then, when you ‘arrive at you destination’ you might get a damn plunger in yo ass. No nigga caught selling gaffled Benzy boxes (stolen radios, for you spying ass whiteys) would get the first class treatment that John Mark Karr received. On the other hand, I bet on top of all that shrimp and Cristal the cops gave him they made sure that diaper sniper got his frequent flyer miles too. Fucking bullshit.

THIS SHIT RACIST PART 3:

Now that he’s “caught”, this honky’s picture on blast all over TV. It’s like the media can’t fucking believe it was a crazy looking white dude that raped and killed a 6-year-old girl. Come on now, who else would it be? Black people don’t do shit like that. Don’t get me wrong, what nigga hasn’t slipped below the legal line once or twice and not realized it until it was too late? You on your way to a court appearance in the morning and you spot last night’s hook up at the bus stop with a SpongeBob backpack on. Now your black ass is sweating trying to think of how you’re going to explain that you actually thought the bitch you were throat fuckin on a skee ball machine at Chuck-E-Cheese was 18. Good luck with that nigga. Still though, everyone knows we stay the fuck away from them crazy crimes and stick to straight hustlin.

Bottom line is this whole situation proves once again that if the pigs were more up on they job than on a nigga slangin’ rock on the corner just trying to eat, they might actually catch the real criminals: crazy white motherfuckers.