IBM’s New Supercomputer
IBM is trying to get back to they motherfucking hey-day when they ran shit on that mainframe game and nobody gave a fuck about any other company. Well, its not like they just started trying. I mean, they been trying to do that shit for days, since like 1992 when they made those mad cheap 486-SX 25 Aptivas, and got decidedly niggarish.. selling they products at like County fairs and shit. The only way those motherfuckers coulda fallen off quicker was if they jacked that Dr. Sbaitso joint from Creative Labs and changed the voice from Steven Hawking to a nigga like Kadeem Hardison. Let me take an opportunity to tip some out for the cast of “Different World” - yah niggas was cancelled before your time.
Any damn way, I just found out that IBM was given $35 million dollars to build a supercomputer that could do “1,000 trillion” calculations a second, which all yal niggas know is just white trickery to make it look more impressive. 1,000 trillion is a motherfucking Quadrillion. 
You white motherfuckers been inventing and twisting words to make your shit seem more important too. Those shifted ass niggas at Reuters been calling that shit a “petaflop”, but that shit gotta be faker than that Lindsay Lohan home movie I copped on Limewire. I’m not trying to be the nigga responsible for perpetrating these motherfucking grandiose Ronco bullshit talking points, so lets just say that this motherfuckers faster than those dormant ass aborigine niggas that appeared out of nowhere and was chasing Gilligan around the lagoon for half an episode. That’s mad fast too, because that nigga Gilligan was so shook that he was running on water to try and get away.
So look, the Government gave these people $35 million because IBM CLAIMS they can make this shit happen. IBM throws around some motherfucking terms like “petaflops” and “Redhat Linux” and all a sudden these congressmen turn into some faggot ass Digg members that just dugg they fifteenth “Top ten reasons we love that nigga Steve Jobs” list. They all in a motherfucking 
frenzy for some shit they THINK they could do! How the fuck do they know if they gonna end up with a $35 million dollar Aptiva? They don’t know, but nigga, after all - its IBM. Yeah they could make some wildin’ ass claims and not deliver, but that’s because they got a motherfucking name. Love those niggas or hate em, the motherfuckers have never sold a WHITE LAPTOP, they never jumped on that faggot ass iPod bandwagon, and they also put that Russian Chess nigga right the fuck out of business too.
This project, codenamed “roadrunner”, gonna be developed in the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico, or that place all those white motherfuckers been camping out because they seen ET’s autopsy on YouTube. One.
White laptop?
unusual suspect:
yeah.. like those bitch made ass macbooks. the only laptops IBM put out that was actual laptops and not some motherfucking useless ass experiment always put together with that roughneck BLACK case.
you could set them shits on fire and the motherfucker still gonna serve that Spring Thomas video.
one.
Excellent goddamn post, Ed!
I don’t say this often, cuz it’s kinda lame, but the fact is: You is “the man” motherfucker!
I’m in like awe and shit!
Uh… how a motherfucker get hold of that Spring Thomas video?
I gotta get one of them shits!
CWTR™
Man, I remember the days when you had two choices for a computer. That bein “Macintosh” or “IBM-Compatable”. HP and shit were sellin computers on the market by tellin people the thing was ‘like’ an IBM. Now them niggas have fallen behind the game. I’m pullin for this quadrillion-function big-rig. I bet you could own some bitch asses with that motherfucking computer.
You know it’s gonna be black too, gotta put them Apple motherfuckers back in the suburbs.
Great post. I’ve added it to digg: digg this
good stuff.
I’m all for some macbooks bitches!
gadfly:
thanks for showing that motherfucking love.. and its aight to throw that “you the man” shit around.. but hold back on using it more than like twice a motherfucking year.
its like eating fish out the passaic river.. 1 or 2 a year or you gone die from that mercury, nah mean?
one.
NewStyle:
OHHH SHIT!!!
I’d prefer a mackbook, niggaz guide to mackin dem hoes.
Anonymous:
Truth nigga, but why the fuck you so gully with that shit?
it dont matter if IBM come out with that shit, all they gotta do is be like “we need $35 million more cause we need to test some more shit” and they got it
but you gotta love that IBM, they got some hype shit
dats great about those cacluations n shit yo, but ya’ll niggaz needs to tell me how dats gonna caculate into quantity of quality porn
dats great about those cacluations n shit yo, but ya’ll niggaz needs to tell me how dats gonna caculate into quantity of quality porn
You can google up some porn on a ‘96 Compaq. You get a rig that’ll process like this one and you’re on your way to some virtual-realtiy porn brotha. Let’s keep holdin out ’til IBM builds us some holograms. With me?
With
http://youtube.com/watch?v=K8dPLzZ7tHE&mode=related&search=
jea watch this shit
Big Ed what happened in your fantasy league homie? You forgot to fix yo roster!
Their new computer is code-named Virtual Hooptie.
ayman:
nigga, your boy big eddie ed aint never played no fantasy football before. I got straight motherfucking gully on that shit, and now my motherfucking team is either dead, injured, or motherfucking retired.
its aight tho, I already got a writing gig on this shit, nah mean?
Gotta make them free agent pick- ups homie!
trade reggie bush too me!
I thought I made another comment up in this motherfucker?
*scratching nappy head*
“You can google up some porn on a ‘96 Compaq. You get a rig that’ll process like this one and you’re on your way to some virtual-realtiy porn brotha. Let’s keep holdin out ’til IBM builds us some holograms. With me? , Tallest Blue”
You know i’m really concerned that you may actually be a police officer. I couldn’t imagine getting pulled over by someone with this mindset. The beat down would be prophetic.
Oh yeah and back on topic…I’m a Sony VAIO Fan ova here!
Don’t trade that motherfucking Reggie Bush to Ayman! I’ll buy 10 motherfucking niggaknow t-shirts you trade him to me!
Well tha icon’s from that Transformers movie they’re makin. Onna’ the badguys is gonna be a Mustang cop-car named Brawl. I ain’t too excited about the flick, but I found the police logo priceless. They actually wrote “to punish and enslave” on the car in place of “protect and serve”.
I’m no cop, usedta live next to one when I was a kid though. Good guy but he had an annoying little dog.
Did someone say ROOTS?
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