Nigga Don’t Know: That Dog Technology
By now you motherfuckers gotta believe that NiggaKnow is the home for all that hot technology. I mean, we like Wired, Gizmodo, and Dub Magazine all rolled the fuck up into one, but from time to time a nigga gotta admit that he can’t possibly know everything. Sometimes we gotta hit you with the shit that niggas DON’T know.
For example, what the fuck is up with all this technology bullshit they got for dogs, nigga? If you got at me back in the day and told me motherfuckers was throwing gwap at technology for they pets, I would have shook your motherfucking jaw the fuck loose and sold your shoes for some of them little ass pebbles. Not rocks, nigga - PEBBLES. Them worthless little ass shits white motherfuckers be throwing mad paper at when they ain’t even positive if you giving them soap chips or sno-caps.
So I did my research, and apparently, white motherfuckers doing all kinds of shit for they motherfucking dogs. They so afraid that “Princess” gone take chunks out some paperboy ass they putting shit like invisible fences around they evil white homes. INVISIBLE FENCES NIGGA! Wires buried deep underground that constantly send out sound waves or some shit that will ZAP the fuck out they beloved ass pet if the motherfucker decide he want to sniff a dog asshole in the next motherfucking yard… and they do this shit so they protected from some legal shit over a tooth snappin ass dog AND so that motherfucking dog don’t get run the fuck down by a nigga pushing that Escalade down they forbidden white streets.
Oh, but what if that dog barks too motherfucking much? Yeah, I know, who gives a shit if a dog barking, but white people hate some barking dogs so much that they commissioned some white motherfucker scientists to come up with a way to stop that shit. The answer? Electrons, nigga. Notice a motherfucking trend niggas? When white people want shit to stop - they bring that electrical pain for real. That’s real white technology. No cures for cancer or AIDS (not that they trying to cure some shit they invented any damn how) but they can electricute the fuck out some shit to make it behave how the fuck they want it to.
I beg you motherfuckers: roll through the motherfucking barrio some time. (White motherfuckers, you do this shit too, but roll up that glass and eject that John Tesh shit you bumping). Roll through the barrio and see what the fuck them Mexicans doing with they dogs. I mean, if them Spanish niggas is feelin generous, THEY MIGHT have they pitbulls inside the house. That’s if you lucky. Any other motherfucking day, pitbulls is tearing off baby faces till the sun go down. You think a Mexican motherfucker gonna spend one motherfucking cent on some bark collars? Get the fuck out with that bullshit. They too busy standing along the sidewalks leaning on some shit to give a fuck about who the fuck gets eaten by they pets. I respect that shit too, I mean Black people would do the same shit too if we ever felt the need to own a motherfucking dog. We ain’t even got no time for canines let alone some motherfucking canine-technology. If you don’t believe a nigga, use that filthy ass Google and look for a few snaps of a nigga with a motherfucking dog.
Even Google knows why the fuck nigga don’t know dog technology. Say word.
Check the previous edition of Nigga Don’t Know, where we spoke about those motherfucking Fish Finders.
one.
Naaaa, Ed
Again, you talking about them urban niggas not having dogs. You get down in the Delta and them collard-green-eatin niggas got eight nine dog under they porch. For real.
But they for real ain’t got no motherfucking invisible fence. If Tulie and Keno wanna go run down a rabbit and fuck it up — they got leeway, gnaaa mean?
Fuck putting my mf dog on a leash. I’d put myself on that shit so i wouldn’t bother getting some shit that makes my gotdang dog feel like a nazi prisoner.
them electrical fences aint for dogs my nicca they to keep niggas and puerto ricans OUT. and for real there a nigga on the block in qb where i was raised and he got this nasty motherfucking doberman and only a chainlink fence between that shit and the street. i woulda loved to see him electrocute that fucking thing you dig
Big Eddie Ed for Animal Rights!!!
shit i got a dog.. and if it aint a bitch keeping that damn thing alive i just send him on night hunts through the neiborhood so it can fuck and eat whatever the hell it wants before i wake THE FUCK UP!
Give my recently dead blog a visit, for it has died.
(sniff)
I am loving me some Nigga Know. Holla back one time.
An Armenian nigga I grew up with had a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. I dunno if you know what kinda dog that is but he was big, brown and had a head like a truck-cab. They got onna them invisible fence deals ‘cuz they lived in a nice neighborhood and didn’t wanna toss up chain-link around they yard.
I’m glad they didn’t let that dog run free, that nigga was a dangerous motherfucker. He’d bare teeth at anything that walked by, but once you knew he couldn’t leave the patch of green grass in they yard everythin was a-okay.
Eventually I got to the point where I knew he wasn’t gonna bite ME so I’d fuck with niggas walkin into that yard and havin him launch at me with them teeth only to stop short. Like I was starin him down and shit. He don’t give me no trouble now when I go into his yard, but I bet he’d take stranger’s arm off.
I think it’s fucked that Pamela Anderson and PETA always have sticks up thier silicon-filled asses with KFC killing chickens and smothering them in the Colonel’s secret blend of herbs and spices, but they don’t give a shit about dogs getting electrocuted.
yall heard about kramer being racist and shit?
That racist ass cracka white devil motherfucker.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T7uKvpzVXI
The fucking lost it! I guess his craziness on Seinfeld wasn’t an act afterall.
Just for the sake of playing (white) devil’s advocate…
The YouTube videos don’t include what the heckler said to set Kramer off. People who heckle comedians in clubs are motherfuckers. If you don’t like the comic, don’t laugh, or just leave. It’s a tough gig.
And if it’s any solace to those offended, Richards’ career will never recover, and he’s probably even more fucked now than Mel Gibson.