Segway Ain’t Learned They Lesson
Segway got a new line of they faggot nerd bikes that will allow white people to bend side to side when they decide they want to turn left or right. That’s it, that’s the big motherfucking innovation. White people twisting they selves on a straight up gay scooter with they silly ass helmets on trying to take they ass to work so they can tell they bosses how much they love all they motherfucking stupid suggestions and ideas for 12 like hours, skip lunch, and get fatter eating 15,000 calories worth of oreos in they motherfucking cubicles. That shit ain’t new, The real Segway news come into play when you look at they site.
Many of you remember a update we threw down a minute ago where we pointed out that Segway was some bullshit for white motherfuckers. If not, then read the fucking archives.. but for you lazy niggas out there, the beef we got with Segway is that them shifted ass white motherfuckers got no black people in they ads or promotional materials. I mean, they have SOME black people on they site, but they never seem to show a nigga in a positive light. They only gonna put a black dude next to one of they products if they want to highlight how easy those faggot nerd bikes is to jack (and I mean jack as in “obtain without paper transactions” not “gadget you shout up a bitch with”).
So I read about they new pillow biting ass nerd chariots and went to they site. I’m like 15 pages deep in white motherfucker marketing bullshit and I notice that they trying to correct the mistakes of the past by actually popping some black people up on they bitch made brochure looking site. How many? Two, and they even got security guard uniforms. Yeah theres a few blurry white motherfuckers that are like almost up on the cusp of blackness, but they only got two pictures of some REAL niggas on that site, but at least they in uniform. I mean on the surface its like, they almost showing black people in a position of motherfucking prominence, but they STILL pulling that same old real white hatred. Peep that shit:
First off, that first snap is straight bullshit any damn how. They got a nigga with a mall security badge, but they also got a smiling ass white motherfucker - but he got on a real “get out of the motherfucking car” police badge on his self. Also, the white motherfucking cop also happens to be leading the motherfucking way, like this is some kind of Die Hard bullshit and all a sudden Eddie Winslow’s dad gotta take advice and information from that nigga Bruce Willis. Plus I think that nigga is Charles S. Dutton but that shit is still unconfirmed. Any damn way, check number 2:
This motherfucker right here got that real white agenda illustrated to the ultimate. Not only do they got another black security guard, in a motherfucking empty secluded ass parking deck, on one them faggot nerd bikes.. but the nigga is PEEPING OUT on a motherfucking MINIVAN.
I mean what the fuck kind of white deception bullshit is that? How the fuck you gonna tell me that niggas be casing motherfucking MINI-VANS while rolling on one of those nerd bikes. I mean that shit is motherfucking boganza, but for some god damn reason it makes sense in they little white heads. I mean, if a nigga gonna roll on that faggot ass 5 grand nerd bike, then they may as well be chopping mini-vans. Its like segway telling motherfuckers that black people down with quilting bees and motherfucking ovaltine when they could take time out they busy schedule of robbing Chevettes and Volvos.
It look like the really tried though, but they never gonna captivate a black consumer base. Like I been saying my niggas, cars, trains, planes, or even your new motherfucking kicks … FUCK a segway. One.
Damn the segway’s! Always lookin for a fuckin dolla! Ain’t that some muthafuckin shits?
Holla At Ya Boy!
CWTR™
Big Eddie Ed again coming correct dropping that Segway knowledge at Nigga Know University….
ya feel me?
yo what THE FUCK popped off with this new layout my niggas this shit is tough! eyo eddie ed my fault im not posting any new shit im on vacation in the south nahhhm saying but when september come imma start contributing again on a serious basis. be easy for now
ps who the fuck is black jesus, he win the contest or some shit
Black Jesus apparently knows something about tech savvy shits. The contest hasn’t started yet but don’t worry I have that shit on lock down.
TLRNY:
no doubt my nigga.. hit us with that ill shit when you get the chance..
Also Black Jesus is the lord and savior of that nigga knowledge. The contest still on so be easy with that.. we still got writer spots… just tryna get more updates to you motherfuckers. -1
Like them motherfuckers is least bit targeting niggas with they shit! They know they market dia… demia… degr… They know who the fuck they selling this shit to! Gay ass white motherfuckers with pocket protectors and a god damn trust fund! I don’t know any nigga wouldn’t pull his own fucking head off before he’d ride one of them through the hood.
Segway motherfucker! Don’t even come at me with that “these charming black gentlemen enjoy a Segway” bullshit! The only reason they got any color on that web shit at all is so nerdy ass white motherfuckers will think they down when they riding they gay ass shit!
Shit. Rambling like a motherfucker. My bad.
Just that shit just get on my last nerve.
I wonder if Segway’ll ever learn they lesson? Maybe they marketing execs’ll read nigga know technology?
I never figured out how they convinced WHITE people to ride those things. They’re wheelchairs for people who’s legs still work.
I seen these things in person, maybe I’m wrong but I can walk faster than a Segway! If I can walk, why am I gonna scoot around on a weak-ass Powerwheels nerdmobile? I can’t imagine bein able to get too far on those things. What’s the up-side?
They aren’t going to waste their time tryin to sell black people segways. They’ll be all PC about it and toss some brothas in they ads but there’s one thing that seperates a tech-savvy nigga from those white motherfuckers and that is this:
Niggas know the value of a dollar. They ain’t spendin it on somethin that don’t help them out somehow.
And that’s the word from Blue.
if you don’t like em don’t buy em….why waste your time with this worthless post….
I’m taking MY motherfucking Segway and cruising straight through that motherfucking pansy city of Camden, NJ.
WHAT.
jos: The point of the motherfucking post, motherfucker, is to point out how fucked up they marketing shit is, and how they product gay.
See, that the kind of thing you call “sociology” maybe you had some. When motherfuckers all get together, it’s called motherfucking “society.” And to study that shit is to better understand the human condition of being a motherfucker on this planet.
So, if you’ll keep your mouth shut and your ears open, you might learn some shit. Otherwise, you’ll continue being a dumbass bitch.
1
I wonder if niggaknow.com had a get together, how many of you guys would turn out to be white!!!
dotsson:
yal gonna see the real faces of nigga know soon enough. believe that.
black as the motherfucking night nigga. one.
Hmmm… suspense. Can’t wait.
Oh Snap!
I think there’s like three or four of the regulars who are HNITH, or Honorary Negro in the House.
However, I have suspected all along that Ed’s fucked up sense of humor was going to draw more primer in here than color. A black guy passing through is often just going to read a couple of lines and then think “militant asshole” and move on. Whereas non-redneck lily asses are going to try to “understand the anger,” because we’ve trained ourselves to do that so that we don’t become rednecks (yes, it is a little pussified — but it beats living in a trailer and slapping your old lady around). Therefore, we’re the ones who are going to stay long enough to figure out how fucking funny it is.
You need some kind of symbol that will signal the realest motherfuckers to hang around and read a while, but without tipping off everybody else.
By definition, I don’t have any idea what that might be.
I think putting the logo up like that is a good start. That shows humor right off the bat, so people will know that there’s more levels of shit going on.
Or! You could make a little button labled “I don’t understand” that takes them to the NKT post I did. *laughing*
I really get a kick out of hanging out here. Again, if I ever irritate anybody (who matters) just let me know and I’ll ease up.
NKT the shits!
To add to Gadfly’s comments:
You wanna bring some real African-decended brothas to this site? It ain’t gonna be easy, but I know a thing or two about communication so I’ll have out and spread my knowledge.
“Real” niggas don’t tend to congragate on the internet as much as other groups (I’m lookin at you paler “the sun is my enemy” types). Gettin t-shirts and bumper-stickers made up is a great start. That gets the word out where real niggas (henceforth shall be called our “target audience” or “TA”) will see it. We can take this further by throwin some cheap stickers in the NKT store. I’m talkin goin guerilla on this motherfucker.
Guerilla marketing means you get a crew together in an urban area and you just toss this shit up wherever it pleases ya. Elevators, escelators, stairs, cabs, telephone poles. Fuck, put it up in front of a urinal (maybe even the short ones, you know our “TA” don’t like they piece dippin into the water). I seen this shit happen on the side of gas pumps, next to pay phones, crosswalks, use ya heads. Find a place people end up standing still at for a few seconds.
That’s my input. The rest is up to you.
tallest blue:
yo, if you all down for that shit i will make a whole motherfucking gaggle of stickers and sell em mad cheap.
I’m up for it.
Some serious upscale motherfuckers in downtown Dallas. Their suit or outfit cost more than every stitch of clothing I own.
That’ll give me an excuse to run down and see my breezie work at the strip club (home of the $12 double scotch *sigh*)
In the words of R. Kelly, just what the fuck is going on?
I dunno, but I’ve never pretended to be anything over than a middle-aged, white Maritime Canadian and I’m getting nervous.
Yo.. if I print up these motherfucking stickers, I need 15 people to pay $8.00 - in return you gonna get 16 motherfucking stickers.
If you interested, email: niggified [at] gmail com
Segway is for white folk so they don’t bust their asses trying to ride a skateboard.
i dont know whats good with you niggas or why you typing essays and shit for comments but keep your draws on and be easy cuz imma hit you with some heat in two weeks when im back in ny you dig so big eddie ed dont got to holla at some random ass kid named redsled or tallest blue to publish them new posts nahhhh mean
No disrespect TLRNY. I’m not lookin to become a publisher. Just helpin out the cause. You don’t have ta worry about my ass usurpin no control or nothin. I’ll hold back the essays from here out.
Wow … NK.com proves that there is truly is a scientific racial link between non-whites and unavoidable illiteracy and stupidity…
if tonight:
and your comment is proof that white motherfuckers ain’t got shit else to do but get cracked by niggas they just been uppity to.
one.
tonight:
Try it out. I think you’ll find we’re on to somethin.
dude ur a racsist ass nigger suck my fucking dick bitchu say were racsist the whole muther fucking article u jus put down white ppl FUCK YOU NIGGER ur stupid and u make no sense scuk my dick bitch
Damn, someone woke up on the wrong side of the trailer.
This article and many of the comments are a prime example of why most black people piss me off. Same typical bullshit, the “white man” is holding you down, always hatin’ on a nigga cuz he be black.
Fucking GET OVER it already, NONE of you were slaves, so drop the slave mentality. I DONT HATE YOU. 90% of my fellow whites don’t hate you. What we need to do is get over our cultural differences and join together so we can target the REAL enemy : the filthy rich scumbags who we are ALL slaves to in some way.
The real enemy is laughing at our inability to get along, because this kind of mental segregation allows them to furthur rape and destroy our world in their global conquest for the almighty dollar.
Shut yo bitch ass up . The real enemy is da white man. Fuck what u talkin bout.
^ And that’s why you will always be a dumb nigger who doesn’t understand the system of oppression our governments have imprisoned us with. You have the blacks, respectable and intelligent, and you have the niggers, which is exactly what you are, my friend.
“Shut yo bitch ass up . The real enemy is da white man. Fuck what u talkin bout.”
How eloquently said. You must have graduated magna cum laude in grammatical finesse.
Here, I’ll save you time — you can say “I magna cum’d on yo moms face bitch”. Silly niggers, no wonder your still a slave race. Get an education and you might not be stuck mowing my lawn or serving me coffee’s, slave.
Anonymous (AKA Afraid ass White Motherfucker):
The plural of coffee is coffee. They ain’t no motherfucking coffee’s unless you talkin bout a cup.
1
“How eloquently said. You must have graduated magna cum laude in grammatical finesse.”
When commenting about a written statment, it is “stated” not “said.” Also you cannot graduate magna cum laude “in” anything…try “with” a major in “grammatical finesse.”
Im sayin though, if I traded some mo’ fuckin segways for some crack, I betcha niggaz would accept the offer and be drivin them shit’s around. Word.
if segways are so bitch made then why u wanna see more black people in their ads?
hey bitch, Ovaltine is good. fuck the sega, but dont mess wit my chokalat.