Verizon Wireless and the Chocolate Jack
Verizon Wireless was never a company that was down with no nigga technology, but yesterday I heard some news that made a nigga think they turning over a new motherfucking leaf. They got a new jack that they call “Chocolate” and when I first seen that shit I’m like, Verizon finally got a down ass nigga CEO, because the only mainstream shit I ever heard thats called “Chocolate” was either one of them black breezie porno bitches or that band in Coming to America.
The Verizon Chocolate got everything you want in a motherfucking phone. You could snap them snaps, roll that footage, and even blast that old school Double XX Posse, but even though it got all that, I’m suspicious as fuck because something just don’t seem right about how the those notoriously white motherfuckerish niggas at Verizon been marketing they new hot Chocolate Jack. Then all of a sudden it hit me after checking that movie they got on they site.
Verizon drop all this informative shit for like a minute and a half, but out of nowhere they pop up some shit saying that the Chocolate “totally sweet” like the motherfucking ad campaign was written by that nigga Stiffler or some other typecast 37 year-old still in college white motherfucker. Straight ridiculous. I mean, any time you use “totally sweet” to describe some shit, you better be wearing them Hawaiian floral print shorts and the trademark white motherfucker shell necklace, while you be standing on your head in some shitty ass dirty basement getting so full of cheap ass beer that even Natasha Lyonne telling you to slow the fuck down. That’s the kind of real white trickery that made Blue Hippo the choice for home computers and turned Dell into some bullshit establishment for them caucasians.
So the shit ain’t strictly for my people. I mean we been through this shit time and time again my niggas, thinking that some shit was put out there for us only to find out that is was some motherfucking shit for those fake nigga frat motherfuckers that pump they fists and recite Warren G lyrics whenever the fuck they think they hear a early 90’s bass line. Actually, now that I motherfucking think on that shit, no self-respecting nigga gonna roll with a “Chocolate” jack any goddamn way. You may as well take a sip out the Blacks only fountain and sit on the back of the motherfucking bus if you think that Chocolate jack is a good motherfucking idea.
Cop a real motherfucking jack and throw that Chocolate bullshit to the motherfucking side. One.
Ain’t that some muthafuckin shits! I gotta get one of these joints.
Holla!
CWTR™
That shit look like one of them faggotass white motherfucker iPods, except with more buttons. That shit gay.
ayman: you didnt read that shit in its entirety nigga.. that jack is for white motherfuckers!
woozie: THEY LET YOU UP OUT THE TRUNK??
And then they’ll get that bitch-ass Ray Nagin to pimp them wack chocolate jacks!
That shit’s just wrong.
Nah man, I had to fight my way out that trunk. I heard that white motherfucker talkin about lotion an’ I was like “Man, I ain’t puttin no lotion on my ashy-ass skin!” So when that white motherfucker popped that trunk I shot hi with the Bananaphone and I was like “BYAAAAHHH!” And then I threw that bitch down on tha bed an’ shot him again, “BYAAAAHHH!”
Yeah nigga I know! I can get one of them joints and sell it to a white muthafuca for double the gat damn price
Holla!
CWTR™
Regulators…..mount up!
Ayman don’t know how to read….that’s why he is down with whitey!
ya feel me?
Word!
yea fuck that bullshit jack dem niggas dont know what the fuck to do wif a jack to get niggas to use it, they need to holla at boost mobile -1- yourself verizon bitches
like it — may even use it…
Woozie be likin the daylight now that he is outta da trunk
Let me get at that white mo’fo’ who held you down — give me his email address so I can send him an application to my “social club”
I dunno who to slap on the marketing department. Chocolate? You fuckin kiddin me?
I like the features but did they think they could up and rip off the iPod like that? I got a goddamn MP3 player, I don’t need to go runnin down the juice on my grip all day.
How long before that slidin-keypad breaks or gets somethin stuck in it? Last I need is some of my change lodgin in there and speed-dialin my mom a hundred times.
My phone makes and recieves cellular telephone calls. That what it’s for. I see you listenin to some of that techno bullshit on the train with this thing and I’m fuckin takin it and breaking it ‘cross your goddamn face.
And Woozie: Grats on gettin outta’ that trunk. Watch your ass from now on, ‘case some white devil wanna stage a sequel.
They should never have turned their advertising campaign over to McMahon & Tate.
word the fuck up my nigga eddie ed. the ceos of these fucking companies been trying to reach out to the urban audience nah mean… but in the end they all run by and cater to these curved brim backwards ass baseball cap , khaki shorts sandal wearing white dudes… and nigga you better believe that these faggots say shit like “totally solid” or whatever the fuck else is hot it ohio. and the saddest part is that the “urban” audience is gonna be all white in a few years. just read what the fuck i been talking about in my site.
how the fuck redsled gonna first come on this site talking that racist ass bullshit now he taking the bus to be on the niggaknow corner every day? it look like we won his ass over
USAUSAUSAUSAUSA
yo how niggaknow on the banned submit list for digg… fuck that shit
Listen up, we ain’t gonna stop any white motherfuckers from playin like they’s street. Ya can beat ‘em half to death and they just go tell their “bros” all ’bout how they just got inna street fight and how they’s ‘down’ now.
Street culture is gettin too tamed by MTV and all them white-owned record labels makin money from the black population. It’s like this site, y’all don’t know who’s who behind they keyboards. This is a white nigga trainin ground!
Urban culture needs to pull some crazy shit and fast. You wanna keep the frat boys out, you gotta evolve, create somethin that’ll take ANOTHER 30 years for ‘em to figure out. Keep the world on they toes.
Y’all got any ideas?
I got one involvin’ weed, guns, and explosions.
my niggas…
send motherfucking email to:
feedback@digg.com
to find out why they blocked that site niggaknow.com… if enough of us respond then they gotta fucking pay attention.
word the fuck up… we gotta take the streets back from the white motherfuckers… how we supposed to claim we hard if we got million dollars condos in the meanest hoods in the bx and bk?
Sounds like it may be time to unleash the revolution!
I sent them stupid ass motherfuckers a email!
One
Down wif fuckin Big Brother!
i dont know why you hate on that shit! shits hot son! you must not be able to afford “1″…..anyways, get off that nigga dick at boost mobile….nick cannon….retards….dont you know that shits run by white people….and theyre just getting your money! ha…
They called it chocolate because it never works…
…and will steal your hubcaps.
Racist white motherfuckers! Islam will DOMINATE!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees Boost as a scam. “Where you at?” I’m ’bout to lock you in woozie’s trunk is where I’m “at.”
It’s like those ringtone commercials. “Press #44 for the Spinnas background”
Bitch, I’m THIS CLOSE to poppin some of these blacksploitation peddlers. Ya’withme?
nigga please
kill whitey
I didnt know that there was two types of cell phones. ones for “whitemotherfuckers” and one for “niggas”. A phone is a phone no matter what color you damn skin is, raciest mother fucker.
I didnt know that there was two types of cell phones. ones for “whitemotherfuckers” and one for “niggas”. A phone is a phone no matter what color you damn skin is, raciest mother fucker.
jea fuck boost mobile ever since they got that homothug nick cannon pushing that shit i never more in my life didn’t want to buy a product
fuck white people
Word!
you boot lips like chicken?
Richwhitedouchebag: Did you have to send your fucked up tirade three motherfucking times? Let me clue yoou the fuck in on something: You ain’t important! So why don’t you take your bitch ass back the country club and get another “massage” from Andre and let him stick his big black dick in your ass.
Well well well, what do we have here? A couple of young strapping “boot lip” gentlemen, one of whom is into Domination. This is very….what’s the word…”off of the chain.”
Aw shit. Woozie’s inna’ trunk again. You sick white motherfuckers always lockin that nigga up! What’s ya damn problem? Is it his hat?
No, no he just has a bad credit score and 5 children, like all boot lips.
475 I am guessing on the credit score and he probably has a few repo’s on it as well!
We were going to call it the “Junglebunny,” but that didn’t test well with 18-24 males.
Yours truly,
Thomas Mitchell,
CEO, Verizon Wireless
the fuck you niggas talking about
ps fuck white people how we gone this long without having a revolution
Because we own all the guns and money, Toby! I thought you would have learned better, what with your mother secretly teaching you to read. Yeah, I know about that.
-A White Motherfucker
the fuck
It’s me! The white motherfucker! Woozie’s in the trunk again. Oh how he kicked and screamed and threatened…reminds me of when I was a little boy…
this shits way too confusing whos whtie and whose black. feeling is big ed and tlrny are black everyone else is white. and you aint startin a revolution you smoke too much weed haha im just kidding i love black people
I love black people! Show me the money…..
I hate everybody equally
You ALL suck.
Dicks?
gadfly, Andre got fired from my country club last month for stealing my 6 iron.
New development: My Korean friend Matt came over last night totin onna’ those Chocolate jacks. Tried to use my computer to find some ring-tones and I was like “Nah-uh, you ain’t corruptin my technology with your broke-ass sellout grip.
Says he got it for $50 after a new plan and some rebates an shit. That kinda made me think it’s worth a little blacksploitation if I can get those features for under a Benjamin.
I actually think it looks like a cool phone, but then again, I’m a white motherfucker.
The phone itself is some tight hardware. I got nothin against it. LG is a company I trust and I’ve seen the phone in action, so I know the features are legit.
Problem is their “totally sweet” ad campaign.
Phone’s called the CHOCOLATE. Can’t they just hire ONE black man to come up with the ad campaign? Would it kill those white motherfuckers?
Yes it would.
Thank GOD for aids you damn spooks.
Go back to Africa.