Worthless Russians: Madonna To Space in 2009
Russia gonna let Madonna into space as early as 2009, which means that anyone else can get into space too - provided that you slob on a mile of nigga cock and you got a gap between your motherfucking fronts that puts my nigga Bokeem Woodbine to shame. That bitch got a fake British accent, but a authentic fucked up British smile, for serious.
Its all about the money though. They was gonna tell the bitch to fall back, but those shifted ass Russian motherfuckers is so easily bought out that you could pop a nigga named Yakov in the eye with a roll of Charmin and a loaf of Wonderbread and he gonna be like, “So when the fuck you want to get up in the Cosmos, nigga?”
I mean, they ain’t got no scruples (…and to have my respect you got to be holding down some motherfucking scruples). They already sold out and let some wealthy white motherfucker up in space for like 25 Million, they almost let that gay nigga Lance Bass go and redecorate the moon, and now they gonna let Madonna up in there and potentially endanger the motherfucking fabric of space time.
First off, I’d like to apologize in advance to all those motherfucking aliens. I can’t speak for white motherfuckers, but on behalf of all the niggas on the planet - I am sorry, but its not our motherfucking fault that the bitch became the destructive force she is today. Niggas only did some backup dancing and mouth fucking when it came to that bitch any damn how, but we didn’t endorse no motherfucking interstellar travel.
So to make you Alien motherfuckers more prepared for what the fuck you got to deal with come 2009, here are a few motherfucking notes that seemed to work for us niggas on Earth when it come to Madonna:
1. That bitch is 65 years old. No matter what the fuck she tells you, or what the fuck the bitch wears, that bitch is up for some Social Security and even though she looks like she’s in aight shape, she got a snatch like a tore-up beer can cozy and a hip made out of gram crackers.
2. Never let the bitch get recognition for shit she ain’t supposed to be doing. The bitch can sing and suck dick. That’s all the bitch should get props for. Pat the bitch on the back after she takes 12 the hard way, or give her a motherfucking peck on the cheek for throwing down some vocals, but never give the bitch an award for acting. She gonna try out for any motherfucking role that requires a sexy female lead even though the bitch is in no motherfucking way sexy or female (Allegedly). Ask Guy Ritchie about that shit.
3. You gonna get your dick sucked. There’s no avoiding that shit. If she’s anywhere near a cock, no matter what motherfucking planet your from, you gonna get blown. I heard a rumor that the bitch went down on the Yoda puppet once, but she just ended up sucking on some white motherfuckers hand. Any damn way, since there’s no motherfucking way to avoid getting brain from this arrogant gappy-toothed bitch, I got one word for all you Alien niggas: Pennicilin. I hope yah motherfuckers took a few years out your busy schedule of cornholing white motherfuckers from Oklahoma to discover that shit. You gonna need it to put out the fire, dig?
You follow these motherfucking guidelines, keep this shit in mind, and you gonna be aight. By the way, this shit is the opinion of one motherfucker, Big Eddie Ed, and is based on rumors and allegations. Come to your own conclusions, nigga. One.
Big Ed, I swear if I didn’t know any better, you are a white middle age gamer. What do you know about Magic the Gathering and “All your bases are belong to us”, HUH? I just so happened to have been forced to go to an all white school and brainwashed by Brits. What’s your excuse?
I’ll take it a step further and say that he’s a paid comedy writer. That is some of the funniest shit I’ve read in ages - TOO good in fact.
And if I’m wrong, Big Ed, you need to stop wasting time and find yourself a fucking agent.
jedi princess:
you gonna challenge my motherfucking blackness with a name like jedi princess? fall back on that shit. you sell a few “items” to some white motherfuckers, you pick up a few motherfucking things
>giggles< I’m just sayin’ that’s awfully suspicious…And too, I can like Star Wars its got Sam Jackson in it…. (sighs) I don’t have my black card amongst my inner circle of friends anyway, so there’s really nothing out of the ordinary for my handle to be Jedi to them, AND my midichlorians are sky high.
Yuri Gagarin, Madonna — who’s next, Britney Spears? Oprah?
Oh, and, I don’t see no niggas in them space crew lineups, what’s wid dat?
I’m black too….from the waist down.
ya feel me?
What is the definition of “blackness” please?
CWTR™
Yeah, you might as well just let the bitch suck your dick. Otherwise she’ll be clawing at your pants all damn day.
Big Ed ain’t white..he ain’t all that smart to be white. But he do know his shit, I will say that. As far as that Madonna bitch goin to space..the bitch should be shot into a fuckin asteroid belt and put out of her mothafuckin misery.
I have true blackness
I’m a white motherfucker who can dance. Serious. I dance with a sister! She like my moves. For real.
She kinda looks like Condoleeza Rice.
Move like a motherfucking snake on the dance floor. The bitch is fine, you gots to know.
Tertiarysocialization at its finest. Umm gladfly, how do you know if the black girl you are dancing with actually HAS rhythm? If she looks/acts like condi I think her blackness is also in question.
Eyo you don’t know what the fuck you done openin up anonymous comments on NKT man, they all gonna come over from Ayman’s to here and plague this shit with “White Power!” or “George Jefferson can eat a dick!” or some more bullshit like that. Be warned niggas.
Woozie:
Young woozie, they gonna put it all out here and still look like some dumb motherfucking pasty white bitches.
I’ll kick a nigga ass that talk shit about George Jefferson tho.. Sherman Helmsley ain’t done a bad sitcom yet. AMEN was the shit. -1
Don’t diss my dancing breezy, princess. That shit ain’t cool.
And what kind of bullshit academic construct is “tertiary socialization.” I swear, every damn sociology/anthropology professor in the country needs to be pepper sprayed until they agree to stop being idiots.
If there’s primary, secondary and tertiary socialization — where a motherfucking blowjob fit into all that bullshit? Just curious.
(PS: this is all supposed to be funny. Not trying to start shit)
Diss your dancing?! (wink. wink.) I am officially challenging you to an internet dance off. You bring Condi and I’ll take….Bid Ed. He may have picked up some ballroom dancing in his pursuit of looting infamy.
I can think of a lot more celebrities that should be shot into space…
man who gives a fuck if she’s launched into space. I rather have her up there singing her ray of light bullshit song so I can’t hear here on earth. But yea this site is pretty funny but wwujd.com shits on this one.
No, no. Don’t dis my “dancing breezy”
Condi is my “dancing breezy.”
You could probably get away with dissing my dancing.
I’m only good compared to other white guys. And that bar is not set very high in most cases
If you can avoid doing the nervous white guy repeted knee bends, bobbing up and down like an idiot — you’re already one up.
Eyo Big Eddie Ed, you been tagged to do one of them fucking movie memes, lookin forward to seein a Kobe Tai flick on that list.
woozie:
I’ll get to that shit asap.. -1
HELL NAW! I guess I won’t be going to space any time soon.
yo.
i am a white motherfucker who regulars this site. Big, this was an instant classic, i think it is the funniest post you guys have written yet. ranks up past black and blue tooth and all the other classics.
keep it rollin.
gadfly no one gives a shit about your dancing.
and jedi princess “All your base are belong to us” is known by almost anyone who has seen a computer. it used to be only nerds knew it, now its common knowledge, especially on bloggers and college campuses.
You guys are NiggaKnowTechnology.com are the shit. never stop spittin the truth.
Suck on my big black dick.
It attached to my slender lover Sebastian.
Those aliens ain’t never gonna stop cornholin them motherfuckin farmboy crackas. That shit is hilarous and never gets old.
Imagine the look on Billy-Bubba-John’s face when he gets his DNA spliced with a sheep those green moon-niggas caught him fuckin in a field.
Priceless.
dam id hit her whit beever ne day of da weak nigga. she be pummin owt al kins of fine fo sereus. you no she hidin sum sereus getto booty unda dem pants fo sur.
nah my nigga … u seen her new bs video?i seen sum of it n dis bitch got no ass and sum fucked up lookin hips. but from what i seen on da net .. she did sum wonders with a coke bottle. id let suck my dick anytime . i dont giva fuck if she is 65 . real talk
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