American N1gga in the building and you know I got you with another News Bullet(IN). Five stories of all kinds of stupid bullshit that the media ain’t put the right spin on. Let’s set it off…

Port Charlotte, FL: Some stupid ass pastey fiend named Ronald La Placa was to appear in court on drug charges when an officer noticed this dickhead couldn’t stand straight and exhibited a fair amount of cursing and screaming. The officer smelled all kinds of shit on his breath, probably covered up with that pasteyface staple, the silver bullet Coors Light. After that the officer see this asshole reach in his pocket and pulled out (remember WHY hes in court, niggas) a baggie full of CRACK son… AND $4000!!! This nigga is wildin. You already know nigga fiends won’t go out like that.

Manilla, Philippines: Aint this a bitch… Nishi Kenechi, 55 (some OLD fool ass sleepyhead nigga), got knocked with weed at Ninoy Aquino Airport after a cop gave him a routine body search and felt something in his ass… YUP!! This wild ass California roll twistin, Wii advertising ass nigga had 34 L’s (that’s a rolled up weed cigarette for those who don’t know) puckered up in his ass and had the nerve to tell the sleepy-police he wanted to experience weed for the first time and he had no intentions of selling it. Naturally they detained his ass. I hope the gave that nigga the Singapore style cane treatment too. Stupid ass dreamyfaced nigga.

Kokomo, IN: This one so stupid he got me hoping to God he ain’t black. He got to be Indian or whatever. I mean, nigga looking like Dhalsim. Any damn way, this nigga, 25 year old Derrick Kosch, held up a convenience store demanding cash and a pack of motherfucking cigarettes. Then he tell the clerk he had a gun in his waistband. The clerk handed him cash and as she turned away to give him the cigarettes, she heard the gun go off. This nigga shot HIMSELF in the right testicle tucking the fucking gun back into his waist. They found him later on at home bleeding and crying. The police said they “plan” on charging him with armed robbery. They need to add on the charge of straight up retardation. Put the safety on next time, you dumb motherfucker. Check the video.

Amsterdam, Netherlands: Some papi migrant bean nigga tried to enter the Netherlands dressed up as a priest with 7.7 lbs of coke underneath his robe. They knew he was shifty when he used the religion card to get out of being searched and when they found the shit, stupid ass nigga start talking about how them packs under his robe and taped to his motherfucking legs ain’t shit but some HOLY SAND. Dumb ass field working ass nigga.

Pueblo, CO: This psychopatic pastyfaced nigga named Charles E. Gross confessed to poppin a nigga in the brain 7 years ago after a dog dug up a mothafucking human jaw bone from underneath his doublewide trailer… What the fuck? The dude told the cops he put 1 in homies head, wrapped him in plastic, and threw him under the trailer. What makes it MORE fucked up is he said he had the body in a 55 gallon drum when he moved and FORGOT about it. What makes it even more fucked up is they only got him on $100,000 bail. I’m like, had that been a nigga, it would be $1 more then what that Katrina nigga sued the Army Corps of Engineers for in last weeks shit: $4,000,000,000,000,001.

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